Submitted by Chase Castaldo
So let me get this straight, guy-who-posted-this-video; one day, while hopefully contemplating suicide, you somehow arrived at the following thought: "haha remember that thing Conan O'Brien used to do where he took people's pictures and superimposed a mouth over them to make it look like they were talking? I'm totally going to do that only not at all funny". Off you dashed to Google Image Search; your meaty little sausage fingers barely containing their glee as they smashed the word "kitten" into the search bar.
Naturally, you took the first picture that came up. Hey, why spend time diving into the wild world of GIS? There's pocky to eat and anime to watch. Next up: the dialogue. It couldn't just be any dialogue, no siree! It had to be something cats totally wouldn't say if they could really talk (that rules out shitting, eating dead stuff and making everything they come in contact with smell like piss). Wait.... wait... YES! The mall! You will totally make that cat talk about the mall or something. Haha! That is not what cats do! This is just like that old Tounces Saturday Night Live skit only, again, without the "funny" part. You card, you.
You, sir, are a goddamn genius and I thank God every day that you're on our side or else the cold war might have turned out very differently.
"how did u do that?"
"this i fricken bumb"
Obviously, the first thing necessary to getting back in shape is buying a bunch of expensive knick-knacks.
Finally, a look at the candidate's long-delayed tax returns.
As you may have noticed, the most popular viral videos at any given time are amazingly banal, annoying, and cliched pieces of waste. It almost seems as if the internet naturally gravitates towards the worst possible Youtube and Google video selections. So it stands to reason that if the terrible videos become popular, then the unpopular videos must be awesome! We here at Something Awful present to you AwfulVision™, our own patented service dedicated to showcasing a wide selection of unpopular videos that apparently must be good! Welcome to Web 3.9. Welcome to AwfulVision™!