Submitted by Sylvester Fox
You want to troll me? Heh. Good luck. Perhaps you haven't heard, but I have an IQ of around 190 (I took some online tests and averaged the score). You? You're nothing but a baka little gaijin. Feh. You are lucky that my Dragonball Goku training has given me the maturity to not unsheathe my bat'leth and send your dishonored spirit to Gre'Thor.
Perhaps you're wondering why I'm even wasting my breath on a weakling such as yourself; a weakling not worthy of being run through with my hatori hanzo steel. The answer is simple: as a proud Aspie, endowed with mental capabilities far beyond your own, I represent the next stage of human evolution. It is my sworn duty to cleanse your kind from the internet and to make it a safe haven for those who find beauty in Animu and peace in Star Trek dick girl fan fiction.
So take heed, trolls: wherever there is a fellow aspie being flamed for their love of Naruto, I'll be there. Wherever a Ron Paul supporter is being harassed, I'll be there. Wherever there are more then 3 people having actual social interaction outside of their mother's basement, I'll likely be somewhere else.
Asperger Avenger, Away!
That does it for this week's AwfulVision! Big ups to everyone who sent in videos, except for that guy who sent the videos of the guy shitting and pissing his pants. That was some seriously sick shit.
If you'd like to send in a terrible video, send it here. If you want to send in a terrible video of people shitting themselves, fuck you.
See you jerks next time!
Transgressive author Chuck Palahniuk is here to help with tips and tricks to hacking your life.
Not what I had in mind when I ordered an Italian gondolier. This is literally just a tiny toy. Needless to say, the Italian businessmen were not impressed and I looked like a damn fool. We lost the pizza pie account and will have to lay off half our factory.
Time to applaud the man who applauds in a loop until the end of time.
As you may have noticed, the most popular viral videos at any given time are amazingly banal, annoying, and cliched pieces of waste. It almost seems as if the internet naturally gravitates towards the worst possible Youtube and Google video selections. So it stands to reason that if the terrible videos become popular, then the unpopular videos must be awesome! We here at Something Awful present to you AwfulVision™, our own patented service dedicated to showcasing a wide selection of unpopular videos that apparently must be good! Welcome to Web 3.9. Welcome to AwfulVision™!