"Wait what? You mean the Mississippi River isn't in England?!"

And yes she was totally convinced that the Mississippi River was in Great Britain. I would hope that a senior in High School would know this stuff.


A girl doing an oral report in an English class assumed that 'dumb' (mute) was interchangeable with 'dumb' (stupid). While doing a speech about Helen Keller, she mentioned that poor "Helen Keller was a blind, deaf, and stupid girl".

A Prawn Pandemic

I lived with my Italian girlfriend in Raleigh NC for a few years, we went to more than a few parties with NCSU students, some dumb bint actually asked her "What language do they speak in Italy?"

How the fuck do these people get into college?

deFine Raith

"Do they speak Latin in Latin America??"

Bimbo in my freshmen year.. She flunked out two months later to be on POPSTARS!!


In a Multicultural Education class, a guy was bitching about having to take diversity classes. His musings went something like this;

"What do we need diversity classes for? That's GAY."

A more sagely man I have never met.

Math Jesus

My freshman year of high school, there was this girl in my honors English and History classes who was extremely ditzy, but still managed straight A's. My friend started keeping a journal of all the stupid things she said. These are just a few of the gems that came out of her mouth that year.

"Jimi Hendrix was black?"

"Malcolm X was black?"

"So the Cuban missile crisis was in Vietnam?"

"So Moby Dick is the whale?"

"I thought Pearl Harbor was in Japan."

More Comedy Goldmine

This Week on Something Awful...

Copyright ©2018 Rich "Lowtax" Kyanka & Something Awful LLC.