lazar wulf: what happened to the bulgarian that threw eggs at you?














SB: Why don't you ask the egg? Same thing.


Baron von Bytecode: Steve, do you see yourself as more of a Jean-Luc Piccard, or more of a Lex Luthor?


SB: Am I some pussy faggot French spaceman or am I some goddamn scrotum with a face? What the fuck kind of question is this?

You're fucking fired, get out of my office.


Baron von Bytecode: Whatcha gonna do, Ballmer? Break a chair? "Fucking kill" me? Can the tough guy act, we all saw you crying during Star Wars Episode III?


Steve: You inhuman son of a bitch - Obi-Wan TRUSTED him. HE WAS THE CHOSEN ONE. Do I have to bring up how you cry every time someone makes fun of your precious Lisa on the Simpsons?

Anyway - fucking kill you? No, Liberace, why waste my incredibly valuable time? Instead of me just telling you what an incredible faggot you are, how about we drink to your continued health?

Oh wait, I've got your liver. Heh.

– Andrew "Garbage Day" Miller

More Comedy Goldmine

This Week on Something Awful...

  • Meditations from a Movable Weiner

    Meditations from a Movable Weiner

    Sometimes I dream that I'm sitting in the back of the defunct Weinermobile as it careens driverless down the highway. At first I thought this was symbolic of the powerlessness I feel in life, but then I realized it's actually the Weinermobile's dream of being able to drive again.

  • BarkWire.com Dog Reviews: The Barquis de Sade & Cleaver

    BarkWire.com Dog Reviews: The Barquis de Sade & Cleaver

    Three years ago, when we were burying my uncle, Cleaver and some gross lady dog (Solstice???) showed up at the cemetery and starting going at it really loudly. It ruined everything and we had to have a "re-do" the next day and it cost a fortune. I've hated him ever since for that.

About This Column

The Comedy Goldmine examines the funniest and most creative threads from the Something Awful Forums. Although the Comedy Goldmine has changed authors many times over the years, its focus on the Something Awful Forums is still the same. Includes hilarious Photoshops, amusing work stories, parodies, and other types of oddball humor.

Previous Articles

Suggested Articles

Copyright ©2014 Rich "Lowtax" Kyanka & Something Awful LLC.