lazar wulf: what happened to the bulgarian that threw eggs at you?
SB: Why don't you ask the egg? Same thing.
Baron von Bytecode: Steve, do you see yourself as more of a Jean-Luc Piccard, or more of a Lex Luthor?
SB: Am I some pussy faggot French spaceman or am I some goddamn scrotum with a face? What the fuck kind of question is this?
You're fucking fired, get out of my office.
Baron von Bytecode: Whatcha gonna do, Ballmer? Break a chair? "Fucking kill" me? Can the tough guy act, we all saw you crying during Star Wars Episode III?
Steve: You inhuman son of a bitch - Obi-Wan TRUSTED him. HE WAS THE CHOSEN ONE. Do I have to bring up how you cry every time someone makes fun of your precious Lisa on the Simpsons?
Anyway - fucking kill you? No, Liberace, why waste my incredibly valuable time? Instead of me just telling you what an incredible faggot you are, how about we drink to your continued health?
Oh wait, I've got your liver. Heh.
Did Louis C.K. jerk off in front of two female comics? And why are these ladies squandering an opportunity to learn from a comedy legend?
Elliot said my breakup must have been due to the sweater curse, an unexplained phenomenon where anyone who gives their significant other a hand-knit sweater gets dumped. The only way to break the curse, Elliot said, was to destroy the sweater.
The Comedy Goldmine examines the funniest and most creative threads from the Something Awful Forums. Although the Comedy Goldmine has changed authors many times over the years, its focus on the Something Awful Forums is still the same. Includes hilarious Photoshops, amusing work stories, parodies, and other types of oddball humor.