Ridgely_Fan: Steve Ballmer, since you're so rich how come you don't buy a shirt that fits? Is it your awkward hip to shoulder ratio that's making it difficult to find a shirt?

SB: I keep getting boners around the office, so I have to tuck my woohoo up into my belly. My dick is this big:

So you can see why it needs to be nice and loose. Like my women. Hehe.


Null Pointer: How many chairs would a chairchuck chuck if a chairchuck could chuck chairs?

SB: Is that you, Eric Schmidt?
Listen to me, you do-goody altruistic piece of fucking human trash: I wasn't drunk last night when I called you. Not that drunk, anyway.
I will take ALL OF GOOGLE AND SMASH IT INTO TINY.
LITTLE.
PIECES.


Thug Bonnet: steve, when are u gonna depreciate wpf?


SB: Depreciate? WPF? Uhh...

You have pretty eyes.


Bought Account: how u feel about pizza


SB: What's on it?

More Comedy Goldmine

This Week on Something Awful...

Copyright ©2014 Rich "Lowtax" Kyanka & Something Awful LLC.