Cyne: you secretly use and love macintosh os x 10.6 "snow leopard" don't you?
SB: What, bitch? I AM NOT INVOLVED IN ANY KIND OF FAGGOTRY. TAKE IT BACK.
One more comment like that and I will smack your face off of your face. Got it?
Jo: Steve, rumor has it that on your birthday you select one lucky child to be hurled into the sun. Confirm/Deny
SB: Who told you that? Was it Paul?
He's just jealous.
Model M: I want a new MP3 player. Currently, I have an iPod but am debating between the Zune HD and the new Android-baesd Archos PMP. What should I get?
SB: What's to debate? You can either get the Zune HD, a sparkling bastion of American technology... or something made by communists, in communist China. You do have an iPod though... what are you, some kind of half-faggot, half-socialist? Prove me wrong.
Get the Zune.
Sniep: Steve bot, what is the saddest thing?
SB: Fat chicks. Huge.
Perfect Eggs Every Time: Hold an egg in your cupped hands. Put your hands over a fire, squeezing them together gently to crack the egg open. Try not to let any egg liquid or egg shell fall out between your fingers.
Absolve me of my past fines, so that I may checkout again.
You cant go around life being smart in an unconventional way, it could change the world.
The Comedy Goldmine examines the funniest and most creative threads from the Something Awful Forums. Although the Comedy Goldmine has changed authors many times over the years, its focus on the Something Awful Forums is still the same. Includes hilarious Photoshops, amusing work stories, parodies, and other types of oddball humor.