Leonard Crabs' Carnival of Savings!
"Dynamic" floor placement ensures every morning will be different than the last!
Name: Pinnacle's Point
- NASCAR-themed kitchens provide hours of entertainment for the most discriminating of rednecks and mentally deficient fools.
- Located near the bustling excitement of Wal-Mart, K-Mart, and Dairy Queen.
- Rotating satellite dishes outside every window will hum you to sleep nightly.
- Remote activated surveillance cameras supervise your every move!
- "Secure" chickenwire gated entry keeps out small woodchucks and really weak bums.
- Pleasant essence from nearby meat rendering plant insures wonderful dining experiences.
- Outdoor and indoor outhouses, with one (1) free roll of toilet paper.
- Swim / bathe in the outdoor Skumm Pond (tm).
- Free rash examinations every Friday by "Crazy Earl".
- You can't miss the annual "Baby Barter and Bong Swap".
- Only minutes away from concrete.
- Pool area has patented "Wee Wee Alarm" (TM).
- Our apartments are safe for small children and farm animals. For instance, no one can get through our six inch bathroom door openings!
- "Skylight" in #15 at no extra charge.
- Dismemberment insurance available.
- Sneak away to your private, "cozy" attic, teaming with "potential pets".
- Our blinds feature a "cosine wave" deco style done by our own aspiring artist / peeping tom, "Herman".
"Bill Buckner was the best damned president we never had."