Leonard Crabs' Carnival of Savings!

Name: Pinnacle's Point
Price: Purple?
Pets: Often
Features:

• NASCAR-themed kitchens provide hours of entertainment for the most discriminating of rednecks and mentally deficient fools.
• Located near the bustling excitement of Wal-Mart, K-Mart, and Dairy Queen.
• Rotating satellite dishes outside every window will hum you to sleep nightly.
• Remote activated surveillance cameras supervise your every move!
• "Secure" chickenwire gated entry keeps out small woodchucks and really weak bums.
• Pleasant essence from nearby meat rendering plant insures wonderful dining experiences.
• Outdoor and indoor outhouses, with one (1) free roll of toilet paper.
• Swim / bathe in the outdoor Skumm Pond (tm).
• Free rash examinations every Friday by "Crazy Earl".
• You can't miss the annual "Baby Barter and Bong Swap".
• Only minutes away from concrete.
• Pool area has patented "Wee Wee Alarm" (TM).
• Our apartments are safe for small children and farm animals. For instance, no one can get through our six inch bathroom door openings!
• "Skylight" in #15 at no extra charge.
• Dismemberment insurance available.
• Sneak away to your private, "cozy" attic, teaming with "potential pets".
• Our blinds feature a "cosine wave" deco style done by our own aspiring artist / peeping tom, "Herman".

Leonard Sez: "Bill Buckner was the best damned president we never had."