Zack: I'm impressed.
Steve: Whoa, okay, hold on. This guy is amazing. Is he flexing his robot arm?
Zack: His robot muscles. It took Dr. Light a few tries to get Mega Man right.
Zack: And by "right" I mean Caucasian.
Steve: This guy is way more badass than Mega Man. That little dingus would run around shooting tennis balls. This guy has one of those switchblade combs and he harasses kids at liquor stores to give him cigarettes.
Zack: When he powers up he can throw a greasy hot rod magazine at you and call you bad names in Spanish. It's called Machismo shot.
Steve: You know he's got a couple throwing stars too. Dude like this never leaves the house without a couple shurikens.
Zack: Possibly tucked in those enormous blue Santa boots.
Are you concerned that you may be a character trapped in a Tom Waits song? Be smart and learn the warning signs before it's too late. Also, it's too late. It has always been too late.
I'm haunted by a recurring vision of a skeleton flipping me off. To avoid seeing this terrifying image in bumper sticker form, I pay someone with a blank bumper to drive in front of me at all times.
Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.