Zack: I'm impressed.
Steve: Whoa, okay, hold on. This guy is amazing. Is he flexing his robot arm?
Zack: His robot muscles. It took Dr. Light a few tries to get Mega Man right.
Zack: And by "right" I mean Caucasian.
Steve: This guy is way more badass than Mega Man. That little dingus would run around shooting tennis balls. This guy has one of those switchblade combs and he harasses kids at liquor stores to give him cigarettes.
Zack: When he powers up he can throw a greasy hot rod magazine at you and call you bad names in Spanish. It's called Machismo shot.
Steve: You know he's got a couple throwing stars too. Dude like this never leaves the house without a couple shurikens.
Zack: Possibly tucked in those enormous blue Santa boots.
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Not what I had in mind when I ordered an Italian gondolier. This is literally just a tiny toy. Needless to say, the Italian businessmen were not impressed and I looked like a damn fool. We lost the pizza pie account and will have to lay off half our factory.
Time to applaud the man who applauds in a loop until the end of time.
Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.