Steve: Has anybody seen my goblin? I know I left him around here somewhere.
Zack: Him name is Hopkin invisible goblin.
Steve: Whoa did you find that meme buried next to some trilobites there old man?
Zack: Yeah, the "where is my goblin?" joke was really killing them.
Steve: Because he's invisible, so they would put him down and then forget where they put him.
Zack: Maybe you could diagram it so I know for sure what you mean.
Steve: Whenever you hear that question what super power would you want I always think invisibility for like a second, but then I realize that I like seeing my hands and it would be pretty hard to do stuff like my a picture frame with my hands or make a cat's cradle with some string if my hands are invisible.
Zack: I would like to have the power to fly so that I can fly to a cliff and then jump off the cliff and die.
Steve: You're a very dark person.
Maria Mitchell is shown holding a telescope to each eye, using them to ogle passing hunks on the street below. OOOGA! Her tongue rolls out like a firehose, her eyes comically bulging through the ends of the telescopes.
The Internet experience of 2014 has been condensed into a single article for your convenience.
Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.