Way back in 2004, Japanese maid enthusiast Ryo Kamiya developed Maid: The Role Playing Game. It was a simple RPG based on the idea of anime maids (players) serving a master (the GM) and trying to win his favor. If this sounds big time weird and gross, you're right on the money. It includes underage characters, seduction, weird sex, lots of references to spending the night in bed, and various forms of physical and emotional abuse too numerous to mention. Naturally, it was a big hit in Japan and in 2008 the game was translated to English. And now here we are. Look at this. It exists.
Steve: No! Dude, what is this? How can this be?
Zack: Some people enjoy anime. Some people enjoy anime maids. Some people want to go on adventures as flirty maids doing chores. As soon as I heard of this game, I knew it was destiny, Steve. You will play Maid: The RPG.
Steve: Bull crap I am not playing this. What do you even do in this stupid game?
Zack: You just have to make a maid character and then you serve a master and try to win his favor. It's actually creepier than it sounds. Any sort of maid you want, as long as it uses the rules.
Steve: Any sort?
Zack: Yes, but keep in mind almost everything relating to your character is determined by one of the seventy or eighty random tables in this book.
Steve: Alright, I looked at this crap and I rolled up my character.
Zack: Did it hurt?
Steve: This system has a lot of potential.
Steve: To make me puke.
Zack: Stop stalling. Let's meet your maid, Steve.
Sometimes I dream that I'm sitting in the back of the defunct Weinermobile as it careens driverless down the highway. At first I thought this was symbolic of the powerlessness I feel in life, but then I realized it's actually the Weinermobile's dream of being able to drive again.
Three years ago, when we were burying my uncle, Cleaver and some gross lady dog (Solstice???) showed up at the cemetery and starting going at it really loudly. It ruined everything and we had to have a "re-do" the next day and it cost a fortune. I've hated him ever since for that.
Ignore the hype. Find out how these games will likely go right or wrong.
Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.