Zack: Captain Britain is pretty well known, I just wanted to single out how terrible he is.
Steve: I always sort of liked him and the bad guys the New Mutants were fighting.
Zack: Alright, the Hellfire Club stuff was fine, but the New Mutants were not cool and Captain Britain is ridiculous. He's the British Captain America, but he was created by Merlin and instead of being totally badass in a fight he could fly. FLY.
Steve: Honestly I never really liked Captain America.
Zack: No you did not.
Steve: His power was a shield. Woooooowowowowowowoww. A shield. The only people who even use shields in this day and age are riot cops and LARPers.
Zack: Uh, wrong, idiot fucker. Captain America is a member of the Greatest Generation and he was given the super-soldier serum to fight Nazis. The shield was pretty much indestructible and was given to him by FDR. A real American saint dude. Not Merlin and some other BS.Steve: FDR was a socialist.
Zack: Where did you read that?
Steve: FDR is a socialist dot blog.
Zack: Are they the ones feeding you these lies about the Super Patriot Captain America?
Steve: They said he was born in Moscow.
They told us to stop playing videogames on a school night. If only we'd ignored them.
As a vicious predator, I find that I have a constant, overwhelming urge to lick apples out of a huge block of ice. It's only, natural, right?
Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.