Zack: Folks just don't go out on the town in the blue fringe boots anymore.
Steve: Yellow tights and giant Pilgrim belts may be coming back though.
Zack: Screaming until people have nightmarish hallucinations never goes out of style.
Steve: The name's Angar. David Allan Angar. Of the New York Angars.
Zack: "Alright, open the vault and everybody on the ground and nobody has to see the blood-puking fish men turn into your mom again!"
Steve: "These solid gold bracers aren't going to finance themselves!"
Zack: He's really bad with women. He lures them in with his hairy hippy drifter good looks, but once he gets them in bed things go all wrong. "Awww yeah, Angar is going to bust a hippy mess in ya. AAAAHHHH!"
Steve: Ladies do not love Screaming Angar.
Zack: Not once they see the tornado they can never warn everyone about in time.
Steve: "He was sexy in that Billy Jack rapist villain sort of way, but halfway through having sex he started screaming and I had to take a math test I didn't study for and it counted for all of my grade."
This Week on Something Awful...
Men's Hats Ranked From Most to Least Tainted
Finding the right hat can feel like walking through a minefield for guys. Did a murderer wear your hat? Was it ruined by bros? Are you just an idiot? Find out with our authoritative ranking of bad hats.
All the So-Called 'Blatant Eroticism' in My Stories Has a Valid, In-Universe Justification
The Amazonians value combat prowess and purity of spirit. By wrestling half naked, they pay homage to both virtues by displaying their battle-forged bodies while preserving as much modesty as their society deems necessary. The gelatin in which they wrestle is symbolic of the fluid nature of battle, a concept the Amazonians call ‘akgor-gra.’
Mission Air
Even the Armor of God won’t save you from flying missionaries, terrible banditos, or Tom Arnold!
Pop-Up Ads Throughout History!
SA takes a look back at what our ancestors from the dawn of civilization clicked on THEIR computers!
Sunless Sea
My time as a captain in Sunless Sea, plus a review of Homeworld Remastered Collection
About This Column
Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.
Previous Articles
- The Fantastic Artwork of Frank Frazetta
- The 10 Reasons We Will Never Review F.A.T.A.L.
- More Lost Treasures of the AD&D 2nd Edition Monstrous Compendium
- Lost Treasures of the AD&D 2nd Edition Monstrous Compendium
- The World of Synnibarr (1993)
