Zack: Hell yes, now we're into the real stuff. The horrors of drug addiction, which, like everything, can be accurately modeled with a random table.
Steve: So wait a second, any drug can have any effect?Zack: Yup! The game that has detailed stats for 25 different pistols reduces drugs to a video game pill that you take and suffer a random consequence.
Steve: Some of these aren't even bad.
Zack: Smoked a joint and hallucinated my wife was a unicorn angel wearing nothing but belts and I could not parry him!
Steve: Don't worry, dude, he was more afraid of you than you were of him.
I'm haunted by a recurring vision of a skeleton flipping me off. To avoid seeing this terrifying image in bumper sticker form, I pay someone with a blank bumper to drive in front of me at all times.
Cons: causes bad nightmares. I used to have to eat beef until I passed out to have these kind of terrors, but this machine does it for me every time I fall asleep inside it.
Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.