Zack: Hell yes, now we're into the real stuff. The horrors of drug addiction, which, like everything, can be accurately modeled with a random table.
Steve: So wait a second, any drug can have any effect?Zack: Yup! The game that has detailed stats for 25 different pistols reduces drugs to a video game pill that you take and suffer a random consequence.
Steve: Some of these aren't even bad.
Zack: Smoked a joint and hallucinated my wife was a unicorn angel wearing nothing but belts and I could not parry him!
Steve: Don't worry, dude, he was more afraid of you than you were of him.
This is very real. As an insider I possess damning evidence that could utterly destroy Something Awful. This website has many enemies who appear to be coming to power in the United States. They probably have lots of money at their disposal, and I could really use some.
Don't let the winter dryness destroy your sinuses.
Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.