Zack: Hell yes, now we're into the real stuff. The horrors of drug addiction, which, like everything, can be accurately modeled with a random table.
Steve: So wait a second, any drug can have any effect?Zack: Yup! The game that has detailed stats for 25 different pistols reduces drugs to a video game pill that you take and suffer a random consequence.
Steve: Some of these aren't even bad.
Zack: Smoked a joint and hallucinated my wife was a unicorn angel wearing nothing but belts and I could not parry him!
Steve: Don't worry, dude, he was more afraid of you than you were of him.
Maria Mitchell is shown holding a telescope to each eye, using them to ogle passing hunks on the street below. OOOGA! Her tongue rolls out like a firehose, her eyes comically bulging through the ends of the telescopes.
The Internet experience of 2014 has been condensed into a single article for your convenience.
Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.