Steve: What the hell!? This is even worse!
Zack: It's just a bunch of space marines standing around.
Steve: They're all bumpy and ropey and why is the big one holding a saxophone!?
Zack: Back in the Rogue Trader days jazz improv was strength 8.
Steve: I bet this is what blind people think the world looks like from feeling around with their hands.
Zack: H A T E
Steve: It would be pretty sweet to just pop out pictures like this on command.
Steve: Like you're in figure drawing class at community college, right? Some hairy fat lady drops the robe, and an hour later your teacher walks up to see this spitting zombie guy blasting a cap in some leaping little turtle man with a skull face.
Zack: And next week when a little screaming goblin gets hacked in half by a chainsaw-wielding football player you produce a horribly amateurish charcoal sketch of a bowl of fruit.
Evil Cooper and Chechen President Ramzan Kadyrov have both been on a rampage, but who did what?
"Your left eye," the optometrist casually explained while blasting my face with a blue laser at point blank range, "is farsighted and shaped like an eyeball. The other eye is nearsighted and shaped like a football. Not even a good football."
Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.