Steve: What the hell!? This is even worse!
Zack: It's just a bunch of space marines standing around.
Steve: They're all bumpy and ropey and why is the big one holding a saxophone!?
Zack: Back in the Rogue Trader days jazz improv was strength 8.
Steve: I bet this is what blind people think the world looks like from feeling around with their hands.
Zack: H A T E
Steve: It would be pretty sweet to just pop out pictures like this on command.
Steve: Like you're in figure drawing class at community college, right? Some hairy fat lady drops the robe, and an hour later your teacher walks up to see this spitting zombie guy blasting a cap in some leaping little turtle man with a skull face.
Zack: And next week when a little screaming goblin gets hacked in half by a chainsaw-wielding football player you produce a horribly amateurish charcoal sketch of a bowl of fruit.
Cons: causes bad nightmares. I used to have to eat beef until I passed out to have these kind of terrors, but this machine does it for me every time I fall asleep inside it.
Sorry about the blurry photo. I was lunging at my phone, yelling at it to take a clear picture. It's the only image of me that exists. I'd take another picture for you, but I'm in the middle of a rigorous trampoline session.
Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.