Zack: Robert Carstairs, restoring dignity to your elderly pets.
Steve: What he lacks in engineering he more than makes up for by throwing and punching things.
Zack: I have 5 points in trimsman, 3 points in cocksman, and 1 point in machine gun.
Steve: My mom went on TrimSpa. I don't know how many points she had.Zack: The cogs have come off! Carstairs, old kettle, get to the steam dial and set it forward three degrees. Quickly now!
Steve: Oh no, which one!? I can't read Martian.
Zack: Quickly, lean forward and thrust your head repeatedly into this Y-shaped indentation. Perhaps it will activate something more than these Martian gimracks!
Steve: Does that count as throwing?
Hows about you, me, and five uncomfortable minutes in my basement apartment next to the dusty Christmas tree that's still up from my last visit with my estranged children.
The Upper Kitchen Cabinet Where Your Roommate Keeps His Food: You’ll 'need the footstool' to reach your roommate’s 'fine selection' of 'stale cereal,' but he'll never notice if 'only a little is missing from each box.' Feel less guilty by reminding yourself that Jeff 'acts weird around your girlfriend,' and always 'asks about her.' What a 'creep.'
This ain't your daddy's globe...! .... or is it?!
Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.