Zack: Robert Carstairs, restoring dignity to your elderly pets.
Steve: What he lacks in engineering he more than makes up for by throwing and punching things.
Zack: I have 5 points in trimsman, 3 points in cocksman, and 1 point in machine gun.
Steve: My mom went on TrimSpa. I don't know how many points she had.Zack: The cogs have come off! Carstairs, old kettle, get to the steam dial and set it forward three degrees. Quickly now!
Steve: Oh no, which one!? I can't read Martian.
Zack: Quickly, lean forward and thrust your head repeatedly into this Y-shaped indentation. Perhaps it will activate something more than these Martian gimracks!
Steve: Does that count as throwing?
Obviously, the first thing necessary to getting back in shape is buying a bunch of expensive knick-knacks.
Finally, a look at the candidate's long-delayed tax returns.
Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.