Zack: Robert Carstairs, restoring dignity to your elderly pets.
Steve: What he lacks in engineering he more than makes up for by throwing and punching things.
Zack: I have 5 points in trimsman, 3 points in cocksman, and 1 point in machine gun.
Steve: My mom went on TrimSpa. I don't know how many points she had.Zack: The cogs have come off! Carstairs, old kettle, get to the steam dial and set it forward three degrees. Quickly now!
Steve: Oh no, which one!? I can't read Martian.
Zack: Quickly, lean forward and thrust your head repeatedly into this Y-shaped indentation. Perhaps it will activate something more than these Martian gimracks!
Steve: Does that count as throwing?
TOTAL WRECK - crazy-eyed hound is covered in cobwebs, has a vespiary on back, graffiti on side and savage thirst for boat fuel. Frankly, I'm in over my head. He's in room 115 at Motel 6, yours free. 555-2851
Yes, it's the perfect form for surviving a car crash. But it's also the perfect form for so much more, like surviving the trauma of reading any news headline in 2016.
Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.