Steve: You walk into a room of amazing orbs. These are the finest orbs you've ever beheld. There's a door on the other wall. The orbs are glowing all different colors and pulsing with light and hanging from the ceiling. It looks like a pretty nice place to stay and maybe have fun. There are some weird looking dudes with strange hair and green skin.
Zack: Eurotrash. I knew I shouldn't have come to this club.
Steve: You think they're troglodytes. They're jealously guarding their orbs.
Zack: Troglodytes is a pejorative. They prefer, "subterranean hate humanoids." I'm going to walk towards the door and talk loudly about how lame orbs are and how much I don't care about orbs.
Steve: They don't speak your language.
Zack: Maybe they speak THIS language: gaseous form.
Steve: They start freaking out and making booing sounds. A couple of them use their shields like fans to try to keep you away from the orbs.
Zack: I'm not interested in their stupid orbs. They can have them. I'm going to slip under that door fogwise.
Are you concerned that you may be a character trapped in a Tom Waits song? Be smart and learn the warning signs before it's too late. Also, it's too late. It has always been too late.
I'm haunted by a recurring vision of a skeleton flipping me off. To avoid seeing this terrifying image in bumper sticker form, I pay someone with a blank bumper to drive in front of me at all times.
Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.