John "Quincy" Adams and the Native Americans lived at peace with each other and Mother Nature! They had found the perfect balance of science and Earth chemistry.
But this peace would soon be shattered by the marauding Nazis that were chasing them!
The treacherous New England Patriots are guilty of deflating their footballs. We must punish them severely in the name of holy retribution. This transgression has been the biggest headline in the United States for an entire week, and it should be the primary concern of all nations.
We have used extensive market research to determine the average consumers of America's favorite rolls of caramel-oozing choco cysts.
Featured articles and columns that don't fit anywhere else on Something Awful.