We hope Kitty has taught you kids a valuable lesson. NEVER assume the Police are just one of the "good guys" who are there to uphold the law! They're all evil stormtroopers who are solely interested in crushing your spirit and brutalizing you for their own pleasure! Here's some helpful suggestions for dealing with the Police.
Are you concerned that you may be a character trapped in a Tom Waits song? Be smart and learn the warning signs before it's too late. Also, it's too late. It has always been too late.
I'm haunted by a recurring vision of a skeleton flipping me off. To avoid seeing this terrifying image in bumper sticker form, I pay someone with a blank bumper to drive in front of me at all times.
Featured articles and columns that don't fit anywhere else on Something Awful.