You push the monk, forcing him to stumble backwards a few steps before regaining his balance. He quickly returns to your side, his robe rubbing against your arm. Though frustrated, you refuse to hit him, regardless of how he acts. Instead, you grab his pamphlet, nod thanks, and pray that he leaves you alone. The monk stops you as you try to pass. He removes his robe, revealing a perfectly pressed police uniform. Your arm is snapped in half as he throws you to the ground. Six additional policemen appear. Chad tries to run, but they gun him down. He drops the ice-cream container as he falls. The urine spills out against the dusty street towards you leaving your face covered with your tears, piss, mud, and the barrel of a gun. "What did I do?" you ask. The officer states that you assisted a Tibetan monk in spreading false reports and the punishment is death.
The first phase of The Olive Garden's cyber rollout will introduce their Neverending Pneumatic Pasta Tube. This works on the same principal as bank drive-thru deposit tubes, but with unfrozen linguini and spaghetti.
Do you remember the crazy clothes and hair of the 1990s? Do you remember Crystal Pepsi and Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles? Do you remember where you hid the box your mother gave you?
It's still okay to like Ben Stiller, guys.
The Something Awful front page news tackles anything both off and on the Internet. Mostly "on" though, as we're all incredible nerds.