Steve: That guy shouldn't sit so close to the screen. It's bad for his eyes.
Zack: He needs to back off for more reasons than just eye-strain. I think that top monitor is playing the videotape from The Ring.
Steve: I always wondered if that girl who comes out of the TV would fit through a little TV. Like what if you hooked a VCR up to one of those old pocket TVs. Would she come out of that?
Zack: She probably would, but she'd be really small.
Steve: That's not very scary.
Zack: Maybe after she comes out she would grow like one of those dinosaurs you put in a bowl of water.
Steve: Oh! That IS scary!
A thousand years ago, dudes were dying from splinters, but now the wizard potion that cleans our light wounds costs less than a Dr. Pepper in 1994. I love this medicinal 7up.
U2 and Apple have conspired to place a U2 album into your music in the year 2014. You own a U2 album. And you can't get rid of it.
Ron Paul spins in his chair, trying to grab his decorative antique musket but Freddy gets it first.
The Something Awful front page news tackles anything both off and on the Internet. Mostly "on" though, as we're all incredible nerds.