1. Skymall Product Reviews: Largest Crossword Puzzle

    Skymall Product Reviews: Largest Crossword Puzzle

    My wife and children seem like a distant memory now that I have this wonderful crossword puzzle. I dread its completion, yet yearn to make it happen as soon as humanly possible. This must be how the male praying mantis feels.

  2. Skymall Product Reviews: Cobra Walking Stick

    Skymall Product Reviews: Cobra Walking Stick

    It's just lovely, and the design goes great with most of my shorts and vests. Cobra walking sticks are great conversation starters and women are very attracted to the men who utilize them.

  3. Skymall Product Reviews: Komfort Kollar

    Skymall Product Reviews: Komfort Kollar

    Pros: Extremely comfortable memory foam support helps you relax on long trips. Cons: Sharp hooks inside cushion dig into neck and become locked around jugular.

  4. SkyMall Product Reviews: Peeing Boy Fountain

    SkyMall Product Reviews: Peeing Boy Fountain

    Don't be a chump. Spring for the piped version with the recirculating pump. I feel like an idiot for not doing that. It breaks my heart looking at this little guy standing there, holding his thing and trying to pee.

  5. SkyMall Product Reviews:  ZenHaus Dog Crates

    SkyMall Product Reviews: ZenHaus Dog Crates

    The vague product description doesn't explain much. Is this large enough to fit an adult woman? How wide are those little side vents? Could I Get a 16" meat lovers pizza through them? Disturbed such common questions are not addressed in product details. Please be more thorough, SkyMall.

  6. SkyMall Product Reviews: X5 HairLaser

    SkyMall Product Reviews: X5 HairLaser

    We bought this to use on our hairless dog, but were shocked to discover the laser was baconizing his skin. The dog loves licking his new flavored flesh, and so do we. We're very afraid he'll start to gnaw it off, though. The smell is mouth watering and intoxicating.

  7. SkyMall Product Reviews: Personal Infrared Sauna

    SkyMall Product Reviews: Personal Infrared Sauna

    Love it, but would love it more if they added a hole to the seat so I didn't have to clean up any messes after extended stays inside. It's a bit hard to get in and out of and it's not like I'm going to diap up for something like this.

  8. SkyMall Product Reviews: King Tut Life-Sized Cabinet

    SkyMall Product Reviews: King Tut Life-Sized Cabinet

    This is the fifth item I've ordered from SkyMall that's placed me under a curse. Most SkyMall curses are pretty tolerable, but this one is filled with horrible visions of scarabs eating my children's flesh. The cabinet itself is OK, but I haven't been able to get it open again and all of my Tracy Chapman CDs are inside.

  9. SkyMall Product Reviews: The NeckPro Traction Device

    SkyMall Product Reviews: The NeckPro Traction Device

    Love it. Makes me feel like gentle angels are reaching down and grabbing the base of my skull and pulling upward as if to remove my head from my body completely, only they don't and the disorienting euphoria that follows briefly frees me from my neck pain for a good 10-15 minutes.

  10. SkyMall Product Reviews: Mega Mini Spy Camera Pro

    SkyMall Product Reviews: Mega Mini Spy Camera Pro

    Works like a charm! Have accrued over 80 hours of video of a certain family dog dragging his buttocks on the carpet. Will be presenting this evidence in a kangaroo court in our living room. Open and shut case, family. A slam dunk for sure. This dog is guilty and going to doggy prison.

  11. SkyMall Product Reviews: Litter Robots

    SkyMall Product Reviews: Litter Robots

    CONS: Plays fast and loose with Three Laws of Robotics. I personally witnessed it operating with a cat inside, allowing harm to come to it. The cat was showered violently in its own waste products before being deposited into a tiny drawer of filth.

  12. SkyMall Product Reviews: MLB Forest Face

    SkyMall Product Reviews: MLB Forest Face

    Just a face? Heh. Let me know when you get below the neck, then we'll have some business to conduct, SkyMall.

  13. SkyMall Product Reviews: Porch Potty

    SkyMall Product Reviews: Porch Potty

    I'm tired of dogs getting all the best places to s***. Why can't we humans have it good for once? I bought one of these for personal use & I'm not ashamed. Not one bit.

  14. SkyMall Product Reviews: Babette Table

    SkyMall Product Reviews: Babette Table

    Adds just the right amount of maturity and beauty to my living room, which is sort of mostly Spider-Man themed. I like this table and may continue to gravitate towards a female legs motif and phase out the Spider-Man stuff, depending on how things go with dates. Keeping an open mind and open heart.

  15. SkyMall Product Reviews: Head & Eye Massager

    SkyMall Product Reviews: Head & Eye Massager

    I got this for my horse who has been under a lot of stress lately. Long story short we are no longer on good terms. What a terrible product. I will not be recommending this head/eye scratcher to others and I am a very influential person.

  16. SkyMall Product Reviews: Fresh Breath Pet Oral Care

    SkyMall Product Reviews: Fresh Breath Pet Oral Care

    I know this says it is for dogs, but that probably just means it works twice as good on humans like every other dog product. Can I safely fill my mouth with this stuff? I'm going to try it and assume I can. Here I go.

  17. SkyMall Product Reviews: UpRight Sleeper

    SkyMall Product Reviews: UpRight Sleeper

    I have tried all of SkyMall's complicated head and neckware, and this is by far the least uncomfortable. The main benefit of this product is that there are no extra parts putting pressure on your eyeballs, grinding away at your scalp, or blasting your head with lasers.

  18. SkyMall Product Reviews: Home Cellulite Smoother

    SkyMall Product Reviews: Home Cellulite Smoother

    DOES NOT WORK AS ADVERTISED. Thought it would smooth out my fat, but all it did was move it to the right side of my body. Now I'm debilitatingly asymmetrical and can no longer hold down gainful employment as a toll booth operator.

  19. SkyMall Product Reviews: Pugz Shoes for Dogs

    SkyMall Product Reviews: Pugz Shoes for Dogs

    We decided these shoes were not ideal and shipped them back. By mistake we shipped them back with the dog still wearing them. WE HAVE BEEN ON THE HORN WITH SKYMALL FOR DAYS TRYING TO GET OUR DOG BACK but they have no records of getting her. AT LEAST GIVE US A REFUND, JERKS!!!!

  20. SkyMall Product Reviews: Spray Away Animal Repellent

    SkyMall Product Reviews: Spray Away Animal Repellent

    Pointless. The "sensor" gizmo is not smart enough to differentiate between common bird species. SkyMall, please let me know when you develop a product that can specifically target the nervous systems of birds I don't like. I've got some rude characters in my yard, and I want them to suffer for what they've done.

  21. SkyMall Product Reviews: Nano-UV Wand

    SkyMall Product Reviews: Nano-UV Wand

    IS IT WORKING? I've spent about three hours just running it back and forth over a carrot, hoping it would give me some indication when the carrot was safe to eat. I’ll keep running it over the carrot until I get a response. Some kind of progress bar or robotic voice saying something like "WARNING! FECES DETECTED" would be great.

  22. SkyMall Product Reviews: Enormous African Elephant

    SkyMall Product Reviews: Enormous African Elephant

    This is literally the absolute perfect addition to my tar pit. It's been driving me nuts seeing that tar pit sit empty all these years. Thank you SkyMall. Now I can start having ladies over to the place again.

  23. SkyMall Product Reviews: Bob Marley T-Shirts

    SkyMall Product Reviews: Bob Marley T-Shirts

    I recently got into T-shirts and have been buying as many as I can. They are comfortable and do a great job keeping you cool in the summer, allowing your arms to breathe. I don’t know who this Bob Marley fellow is, but if he endorses T-shirts, he’s got the right idea. Put on a t-shirt. You won’t regret it, buddy.

  24. SkyMall Product Reviews: Skull Sculpture

    SkyMall Product Reviews: Skull Sculpture

    BROKE ALMOST IMMEDIATELY. Like within five minutes of taking it out of the box and having my brother in law Shaun throw it at head, the thing was on the floor in a million pieces. Thanks for all the dumb skull pieces, SkyMall. Real scary.

  25. SkyMall Product Reviews: FaceTrainer by no!no!

    SkyMall Product Reviews: FaceTrainer by no!no!

    Idiotic product for idiotic people. Putting your face in a mask isn't going to make you look younger. If you want to look younger, you have to use science, and science is crystals and magnets. Wake up me when you figure out a way to put my head in a crystal and bombard it with magnetic rays.

  26. SkyMall Product Reviews: Faux Tattoo Men’s T-Shirt

    SkyMall Product Reviews: Faux Tattoo Men’s T-Shirt

    I got this for a costume party, but felt so good wearing it I haven't taken it off yet, and the party was weeks ago. People now call me "that weird shirt guy" and sometimes just "him." Feel like I'm making a real name for myself now!

  27. SkyMall Product Reviews: Single-Handed Barber

    SkyMall Product Reviews: Single-Handed Barber

    I’ve been using this thing on my dog and I’ve got him smooth as a marble. It’s getting harder to coax him out of the closet he’s been hiding in, but he’s never been sleeker. Wish I could get the hair underneath his skin, that’s what’s driving me crazy. Sooner or later I’ll get that too.

  28. SkyMall Product Reviews: HoodiePillow Hooded Pillowcase

    SkyMall Product Reviews: HoodiePillow Hooded Pillowcase

    Love it! This works better than my old method of awkwardly squeezing my head and torso into a pillowcase, especially since I often got stuck or lost circulation in my limbs/head.

  29. SkyMall Product Reviews: Yeti Tree Hugger

    SkyMall Product Reviews: Yeti Tree Hugger

    Terrible. Just terrible. My neighbor installed one of these and I hate it. It gives me the willies every time I look outside, like some kind of nosy minority staring at me. I give both this product and my ethnic neighbor 1 star.

  30. SkyMall Product Reviews: Giant Male Silverback Gorilla Statue

    SkyMall Product Reviews: Giant Male Silverback Gorilla Statue

    I bought the male gorilla and inspected him top to bottom. Even flipped him over to see the underside. I can tell you with absolute authority they did not do their due diligence in terms of anatomy. Important orifices are missing, making this thing 100% non-functional.

  31. SkyMall Product Reviews: Grillbot Automatic Grill Cleaning Robot

    SkyMall Product Reviews: Grillbot Automatic Grill Cleaning Robot

    If there's some kind of drone pilot for these things, please have my unit return to me at once. You guys have an unsatisfied customer in the making right here.

  32. SkyMall Product Review: Velociraptor Dinosaur Statue

    SkyMall Product Review: Velociraptor Dinosaur Statue

    Here's how it went down: bought a dinosaur to bury and surprise my kids by digging it up with them. I don't remember where I buried it, so, basically this thing is a huge waste of money and a total rip off. It's not even real anyway. Give me a damn refund.

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