I think the problem is that these people cannot find anyone to have sex with them and find themselves too repulsive to masturbate themselves.
I'll bet you a hundred bucks this guy was raised by a single mother.
Potential partners I can understand. But why do your co-workers have to know? Christ, shut the fuck up about your sexual orientation no matter what it is.
Fine! I'll write you up an entry for the website.
Asexuals: People who abstain from sex because they are either too ugly, too emotionally unstable, or too molested by their parents.
What a catch!
Ewww, bodily fluids!
MAYBE YOU SHOULD PUT FOOD ON THAT LIST YOU FAT FUCKING ASEXUAL SLOB.
Hey go for it. It'll raise the average size for the rest of us.
Do all of your holiday shopping in the Star Citizen online store! We have great deals on space ships for a game that may not be released for years. Think of these as investments in your future enjoyment.
The first phase of The Olive Garden's cyber rollout will introduce their Neverending Pneumatic Pasta Tube. This works on the same principal as bank drive-thru deposit tubes, but with unfrozen linguini and spaghetti.
It's still okay to like Ben Stiller, guys.
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