When I was a kid I thought I was psychic and would always stop people from doing things because I could "foresee" their death. My parents put a stop to that shit real quick. I was ten when I went through that phase. What's XtremeMind's excuse? Want to know how to talk to girls using your mind? Well, read on chum(p).

They don't gather at this forum magnetically, they gather here pathetically.

Step 1: Get the hell off the Internet.

Web sites have powers. I feel very powerful chi energy coming from Google...

I would wager quite a lot that these people are all hardcore Harry Potter fans.

Don't worry, guys. This should be more than enough for her to file a restraining order I hope.

Yeah, it's definitely the real deal. That's why it's on home.xtra.co.nz and not CNN.

Heh, typical psychic newbie mistake. Or maybe two people can just notice the same thing about a parked car.

More The Weekend Web

This Week on Something Awful...

  • Advanced Level Sexy Catcalls

    Advanced Level Sexy Catcalls

    Hows about you, me, and five uncomfortable minutes in my basement apartment next to the dusty Christmas tree that's still up from my last visit with my estranged children.

  • Zagat's Guide to Poor Person Eating

    Zagat's Guide to Poor Person Eating

    The Upper Kitchen Cabinet Where Your Roommate Keeps His Food: You’ll 'need the footstool' to reach your roommate’s 'fine selection' of 'stale cereal,' but he'll never notice if 'only a little is missing from each box.' Feel less guilty by reminding yourself that Jeff 'acts weird around your girlfriend,' and always 'asks about her.' What a 'creep.'

Copyright ©2015 Rich "Lowtax" Kyanka & Something Awful LLC.