You can tell her anything, FOR HER TO USE AGAINST YOU. Haha I can't wait to be a parent and make my kid's life hell.

"If I were happy it would be rad." Walt Whitman is spinning in his grave.

Nooo... not all emos cut themselves! That's not what being emo is all about!

Jesus, I hate having friends who have problems. It's always about their problems. You invite someone over to play some Mario Party and it's all about their lovelife and their financial situation and still you're in last place with zero stars because Bowser stole one from you.

This is the story of Halloweengirl31.

Halloweengirl is very sad and in need of some attention. Luckily there are other sadsacks on the Internet to give her what she wants. The day is saved!

More The Weekend Web

This Week on Something Awful...

  • Advanced Level Sexy Catcalls

    Advanced Level Sexy Catcalls

    Hows about you, me, and five uncomfortable minutes in my basement apartment next to the dusty Christmas tree that's still up from my last visit with my estranged children.

  • Zagat's Guide to Poor Person Eating

    Zagat's Guide to Poor Person Eating

    The Upper Kitchen Cabinet Where Your Roommate Keeps His Food: You’ll 'need the footstool' to reach your roommate’s 'fine selection' of 'stale cereal,' but he'll never notice if 'only a little is missing from each box.' Feel less guilty by reminding yourself that Jeff 'acts weird around your girlfriend,' and always 'asks about her.' What a 'creep.'

Copyright ©2015 Rich "Lowtax" Kyanka & Something Awful LLC.