Hey, like my tattoo? I got one because I'm a unique person with a unique personality and all my friends have them.

The stabbed beet symbolizes a deep hatred of vegetables and all foods natural.

Woah, it's the guy who runs the car wash, and he's fuckin' pissed.

Nice, even the lion is rolling its eyes.

Oh no, look at that. You spilled mistake all over yourself.

"Make my arm look like cancer."

You can always find the most profound, life-changing shit written on the inside of weird girls' mouths.

More The Weekend Web

This Week on Something Awful...

  • Advanced Level Sexy Catcalls

    Advanced Level Sexy Catcalls

    Hows about you, me, and five uncomfortable minutes in my basement apartment next to the dusty Christmas tree that's still up from my last visit with my estranged children.

  • Zagat's Guide to Poor Person Eating

    Zagat's Guide to Poor Person Eating

    The Upper Kitchen Cabinet Where Your Roommate Keeps His Food: You’ll 'need the footstool' to reach your roommate’s 'fine selection' of 'stale cereal,' but he'll never notice if 'only a little is missing from each box.' Feel less guilty by reminding yourself that Jeff 'acts weird around your girlfriend,' and always 'asks about her.' What a 'creep.'

About This Column

There are hundreds of stories happening on the World Wide Web. Let me tell you, that's a very wide web. Our goal at Weekend Web is to bring you the latest headlines from around the Internet. We go into the very bowels of message boards everywhere and find out what millions of online citizens have to say.

Previous Articles

Suggested Articles

Copyright ©2015 Rich "Lowtax" Kyanka & Something Awful LLC.