Well fly your ass to the store and pick me up some whiskey.
If I die I'm going to come back as a butterfly. No one ever suspects the butterfly.
One thing is for sure, these people all share the same memory of being teased in the sixth grade.
I hope her roommate uses that egg to make an omelette. I know I would. Pheonix omelettes are incredible.
Shut up and roll the dice already.
Anybody remember Dragonheart with Sean Connery? I'm sure this guy went apeshit over that film.
That sounds hot. I need to change my underwear. Be right back folks.
Sometimes it’s helpful to explain your allergies, other times you just need to apologize for sneezing on someone’s face.
Jim & Karen's wedding is gonna be a blast! Here's some hints you aren't invited.
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