Well fly your ass to the store and pick me up some whiskey.

If I die I'm going to come back as a butterfly. No one ever suspects the butterfly.

One thing is for sure, these people all share the same memory of being teased in the sixth grade.

I hope her roommate uses that egg to make an omelette. I know I would. Pheonix omelettes are incredible.

Shut up and roll the dice already.

Anybody remember Dragonheart with Sean Connery? I'm sure this guy went apeshit over that film.

That sounds hot. I need to change my underwear. Be right back folks.

More The Weekend Web

This Week on Something Awful...

About This Column

There are hundreds of stories happening on the World Wide Web. Let me tell you, that's a very wide web. Our goal at Weekend Web is to bring you the latest headlines from around the Internet. We go into the very bowels of message boards everywhere and find out what millions of online citizens have to say.

Previous Articles

Suggested Articles

Copyright ©2015 Rich "Lowtax" Kyanka & Something Awful LLC.