Well fly your ass to the store and pick me up some whiskey.
If I die I'm going to come back as a butterfly. No one ever suspects the butterfly.
One thing is for sure, these people all share the same memory of being teased in the sixth grade.
I hope her roommate uses that egg to make an omelette. I know I would. Pheonix omelettes are incredible.
Shut up and roll the dice already.
Anybody remember Dragonheart with Sean Connery? I'm sure this guy went apeshit over that film.
That sounds hot. I need to change my underwear. Be right back folks.
Trying to change history is a terrible mistake. Tearing down all of America's Hitler statues has left us confused about our nation's proud past.
Ask any cowboy and they'll tell you: The deadliest snake in the wild west is Lava-Filled Hole Shaped Exactly Like A Cowboy Silhouette
Ben Garrison's Cartoons are finally explained!
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