I've seen better owl fan fiction.

What if... the Matrix was about owls?

Hey, get that crap off of here. This is owl country!

Businesses put owl statues on their buildings to attract the lucrative "owl fan" demographic.

Special thanks to Qwilla, BleakLewis, TinyFaye, Full Circle, PaisleyOrangutan, Spurite Based, diarrhea for girls, Evil Vin, ryborg, MISS WHITE LADY, screwy, Forest Fuckery, Umilele, Wezzo, dcseankun, Rhinceraptor, Montalvo, Archonic, SamuraiFoochs, Medium Cool, CrumFUNist!, AndrewBK, Strawberry Panda, The Puppet Master, Forum accidents, Blueman654, solana, Captain Arab, JonoT45, most erotic flower, EggingstinFeh, Der Metzgermeister, and A PRIZED MULE!. Goddamn that's a lot of contributers.

– Hassan "Acetone" Mikal

More The Weekend Web

This Week on Something Awful...

  • Meditations from a Movable Weiner

    Meditations from a Movable Weiner

    Sometimes I dream that I'm sitting in the back of the defunct Weinermobile as it careens driverless down the highway. At first I thought this was symbolic of the powerlessness I feel in life, but then I realized it's actually the Weinermobile's dream of being able to drive again.

  • BarkWire.com Dog Reviews: The Barquis de Sade & Cleaver

    BarkWire.com Dog Reviews: The Barquis de Sade & Cleaver

    Three years ago, when we were burying my uncle, Cleaver and some gross lady dog (Solstice???) showed up at the cemetery and starting going at it really loudly. It ruined everything and we had to have a "re-do" the next day and it cost a fortune. I've hated him ever since for that.

Copyright ©2014 Rich "Lowtax" Kyanka & Something Awful LLC.