Let me just input your data into my Internet pregnancy calculator and, ah yes, 56%.

Mom? Is that you?

Thanks for the advice, Dr. Internet.

Ah ha ha ha, ain't it the truth, friend. You should do standup!

It's like people on the Internet just refuse to call the police, doctors, and lawyers before posting their problem on an Internet forum.

Welcome! Here's the bitch that broke my heart!

This almost reads like a wacky sitcom scheme.

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