This article is part of the Don Larry is USA PATRIOT TOUGH series.

Well, well, well. The time of year has come once again for the liberal Jews and the loony lefties in Hollyweird to gather and celebrate their psychic cornholing of Lady Liberty. It's time for the 2011 Oscars. That's the NoCares for those of us in Real America who live real lives blogging about thug-mmander and cheat Barry Sotero's misdeeds and don't spend all day gay agendaing our Beibers.

This Internet thing allows people to comment as things are happening, so I am going to be updating my website and also the godless communist cesspit with my LIVE thoughts on the Oscars.

  • Pre-show giant negress interviewing notorious cross-dresser Tom Hanks about how nervous he is to be in a room full of fellow homosexual HIV/AIDS supporters. Classic TV moment.
  • Worst commercial so far: JC Penny commercial for teenagers. I don't need the store where I buy my reversible jackets having a Facebook, whatever that means.
  • Inside Alec Baldwin's head: gay married lesbians getting side-by-side abortions in a mosque. Wake up America! 30 Rock was built by John D. Rockefeller in cahoots with FDR and JFK for the KGB.
  • Baracking's Speech: The teleprompters fail in the middle of his 80 minute apology to Osama.
  • I have a feeling I'm going to be cutting my arm off to escape this mess in about ten minutes.
  • Franco. Now there is someone who kept the commies in their place. I'd give him an academy award. The Don Larry Liberty Lady.
  • These people don't have mothers. They're hatched from the eggs Steven Spielberg lays in Israel, which I respect completely.
  • A great year for lesbians is a bad year for the troops.
  • True Grit!? They didn't use computers to bring John Wayne back to life and have him become a gay dad did they? Please tell me the Duke isn't a gay dad. G-D you Unholywouldn't.
  • Wally Fister wins cinematography for Incepticons. Is that a trade-based surname? Mine would be Truthchamp. Don Truthchamp.
  • Let's Pollute nominated for an Oscar. Let me guess...ironic title?? How do you think you all got to the Oscars you green goofs?

  • I blame Pixar for turning Disney into a limp-wristed propaganda house for Barbara Streisand's book club. I remember when they used to make movies where ducks told the hard truth about the Japs.
  • A lot of foreigners on the stage tonight. I'm tempted to blow in a call to ICE, as if they'd even do anything. Where are the Minutemen when you need 'em?
  • Aaron Sorkin said he'd write ultra-liberal claptrap for Free. How about I pay you a dollar and you can dig the security ditch around my buried school bus.
  • Baracking's Speech: 90 minutes about why I need to give money to the government so they can do abortions on cats.
  • Wolverine is Australian??? Does this country produce ANYTHING anymore? No, because of the Unions.
  • Franco in a dress. Political cartoon circa 1935 or Oscars circa 2011?
  • Russell Brand. Now there's somebody who could use a good water boarding.
  • I want to open a bottle of beer with Reese Witherspoon's chin.
  • The academy awards in the year 2020? Sorry folks, don't think the caliphate is going to allow you jews and homosexuals to gather in such large numbers.
  • Is this Trent Reznor character the new Randy Newman? No thanks, I'll take the theme to Monk over this gloomy blooping any day of the week.
More Front Page News

This Week on Something Awful...

  • Pardon Our Dust

    Pardon Our Dust

    Something Awful is in the process of changing hands to a new owner. In the meantime we're pausing all updates and halting production on our propaganda comic partnership with Northrop Grumman.



    Dear god this was an embarrassment to not only this site, but to all mankind

About this series

Ultrapatriot Don Larry presents news and views related to politics, the constitution, and YOUR tax dollars.

Other articles in this series

Copyright ©2024 Jeffrey "of" YOSPOS & Something Awful