This article is part of the Instruction for a Help series.
Congratulation! You have a fruit!
A fruit is not ready currently. You must prepare a fruit. The color of a fruit is green. The color of a fruit to taste great and put inside your body is red.
A fruit when green is furious.
You propose that? Not a good idea!
A green fruit become a food is bad. A fruit at green carries a vengeful riposte.
Do not bite. Get a pot.
A fruit is small when green. A pot is small.
To love a life a fruit needs earth. Take some up from your earth and give it to a pot.
Tenderly place a fruit on a side. The knife cuts deep. The sharper the edge, the less the pain.
Speak to a fruit within the trauma. "You are not all we need," tell a fruit. "We need the top only. I love you fruit. You will be happy. You will be happy."
The blade is through. The eyes of a fruit close and a tear comes. Do not cry, fruit. Say it.
"Do not cry, fruit."
All things in this world feel pain. A lobster, a fruit, a man, a cat, a pearl, a window, a kite. They suffer. You must respect them all. A man who brings pain wantonly brings that pain onto his own self times three.
"Shhhh," tell a fruit and lift it up in your soft hands.
BLACK LIVES MATTER!!! NOOOOOOO!!! WHAT HAVE YOU DONE? YOU HAVE CREATED A MONSTER, AN ABSOLUTE MONSTER!
Something Awful is in the process of changing hands to a new owner. In the meantime we're pausing all updates and halting production on our propaganda comic partnership with Northrop Grumman.
Yes, there are finally enough games for a new round of One Sentence Reviews
Play your entire PS1 library from a single SD card. But not your Brady Strategy Guides.
The Something Awful front page news tackles anything both off and on the Internet. Mostly "on" though, as we're all incredible nerds.