McDonald's has some real eggs and they want to show them off to you. These braggarts want to rub their real eggs in your faces.



Alright, we get it! McDonald's is a bunch of millionaires showing off their real eggs. But what about their competition? Can others show you a real egg?

We can let you touch a real egg. You cannot see it. Do not ask our manager to lift the cloth on our egg.

Wendy has the real egg in a special room. You may knock thrice upon the door and the viewing port will be opened. Gaze upon the real egg for as long as you would like. Isn't it magnificent?
We can show you thousands of false eggs. We have false eggs of many colors. Ask a manager to dump a bucket of them across the floor and try to pick up as many as you can in 30 seconds.
We can show you a roast beef egg, can others? There are dozens of them rolling around in this drawer back here. Do not ask any questions just look at the roast beef egg.
You kidding? You might as well ask a real egg to show you a manager. The real egg is in charge of everything around here. The real egg breaks up fights in the parking lot. We're not really sure when it took over, we just do what it says.
We can show you a fried egg. Chickens must be fried to kill them. The Colonel told us that before he died. If you do not fry them they will come back. You especially do not want the eggs coming back. What do you think killed Colonel Sanders?
We are not even sure what an egg is. Is it like a bigger bean? We have a whole breakfast menu now but we are not sure what that stuff is either. It all comes out of a tube and then we put it into a hexagon.
Why are you asking to see a real egg? Are you dumb as hell? Do not trifle with Popeyes. You think this is a KFC where you can just walk in here and mess with us? This is Popeyes. Respect it.
We still have Papa John's real egg. It's horrible and we want to die. No matter how much of that garlic sauce we drink it won't kill us. Please, just end us.
What? A real egg? What do you want from us? We deliver trash pizzas to your house for like two dollars and now you're harassing my drivers about an egg? Take it to Pizza Hut, buddy.

– Zack "Geist Editor" Parsons (@sexyfacts4u)

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