Coffee shop story:
Lady: Could you make me that thing?
Me: I'm sorry?
Lady: That thing. I was in here about a month ago and you made me something, could you make it for me again? It was really good.
Me: (Pause- I dont remember this person ever existing before now) Um, do you remember if it was hot or cold? Sweet or bitter?
Lady: I can't remember, but it was really good. Could I just get one of those please?
Another time this old lady came back, loudly slurping on her coffee as I took care of two people. My manager was standing next to me when she said this:
Slurp. "This is the" slurp "worst coffee" slurp "that I have ever" slurp "tasted. It tastes like" slurp "shit"
I just stood there for a moment, thinking of how to respond when my manager stepped in.
"Then why the hell are you still drinking it?"
She turned and left in a huff.
I work at Best Buy in customer service, so I answer the phones. I usually every day get this
Me: "Best Buy customer service this is Frank how may I help you?"
CUST: "Can I have your electronics dept."
ME: "...well what are you looking for sir?"
CUST: "Your electronics!"
Keep in mind that Best Buy is an electronics STORE.
[making a cappuccino]
Woman watching me: Is that non-fat? I asked for non-fat. Can you make sure that is non-fat? Non-fat? Non-fat??
Me: Here's your non-fat cappuccino.
Woman: Can I get some whipped cream on here?
I work at a video store.
Lady (walking up to counter with some DVD): Hey, I need to exchange this movie.
Me: Does it not work? (happens every day with DVDs)
Lady: No it works, it's because, well...I'm not racist or anything, but this movie only has black people in it.
Hows about you, me, and five uncomfortable minutes in my basement apartment next to the dusty Christmas tree that's still up from my last visit with my estranged children.
The Upper Kitchen Cabinet Where Your Roommate Keeps His Food: You’ll 'need the footstool' to reach your roommate’s 'fine selection' of 'stale cereal,' but he'll never notice if 'only a little is missing from each box.' Feel less guilty by reminding yourself that Jeff 'acts weird around your girlfriend,' and always 'asks about her.' What a 'creep.'
This ain't your daddy's globe...! .... or is it?!
The Comedy Goldmine examines the funniest and most creative threads from the Something Awful Forums. Although the Comedy Goldmine has changed authors many times over the years, its focus on the Something Awful Forums is still the same. Includes hilarious Photoshops, amusing work stories, parodies, and other types of oddball humor.