Coffee shop story:
Lady: Could you make me that thing?
Me: I'm sorry?
Lady: That thing. I was in here about a month ago and you made me something, could you make it for me again? It was really good.
Me: (Pause- I dont remember this person ever existing before now) Um, do you remember if it was hot or cold? Sweet or bitter?
Lady: I can't remember, but it was really good. Could I just get one of those please?
Another time this old lady came back, loudly slurping on her coffee as I took care of two people. My manager was standing next to me when she said this:
Slurp. "This is the" slurp "worst coffee" slurp "that I have ever" slurp "tasted. It tastes like" slurp "shit"
I just stood there for a moment, thinking of how to respond when my manager stepped in.
"Then why the hell are you still drinking it?"
She turned and left in a huff.
I work at Best Buy in customer service, so I answer the phones. I usually every day get this
Me: "Best Buy customer service this is Frank how may I help you?"
CUST: "Can I have your electronics dept."
ME: "...well what are you looking for sir?"
CUST: "Your electronics!"
Keep in mind that Best Buy is an electronics STORE.
[making a cappuccino]
Woman watching me: Is that non-fat? I asked for non-fat. Can you make sure that is non-fat? Non-fat? Non-fat??
Me: Here's your non-fat cappuccino.
Woman: Can I get some whipped cream on here?
I work at a video store.
Lady (walking up to counter with some DVD): Hey, I need to exchange this movie.
Me: Does it not work? (happens every day with DVDs)
Lady: No it works, it's because, well...I'm not racist or anything, but this movie only has black people in it.
"Really, Holmes!" I dropped into my seat, shocked. "You are remarkably tall! What are you, six foot six? Six foot eight?"
As the 19th century diver approaches a giant clam, a flash of brilliant golden light flares from within the shell. I emerge in a swirl of bubbles and do the timeless universal underwater hand signals for the following: ZODIAC KILLER, KKK, BLOOD OF YOUTH
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