Coffee shop story:
Lady: Could you make me that thing?
Me: I'm sorry?
Lady: That thing. I was in here about a month ago and you made me something, could you make it for me again? It was really good.
Me: (Pause- I dont remember this person ever existing before now) Um, do you remember if it was hot or cold? Sweet or bitter?
Lady: I can't remember, but it was really good. Could I just get one of those please?
Another time this old lady came back, loudly slurping on her coffee as I took care of two people. My manager was standing next to me when she said this:
Slurp. "This is the" slurp "worst coffee" slurp "that I have ever" slurp "tasted. It tastes like" slurp "shit"
I just stood there for a moment, thinking of how to respond when my manager stepped in.
"Then why the hell are you still drinking it?"
She turned and left in a huff.
I work at Best Buy in customer service, so I answer the phones. I usually every day get this
Me: "Best Buy customer service this is Frank how may I help you?"
CUST: "Can I have your electronics dept."
ME: "...well what are you looking for sir?"
CUST: "Your electronics!"
Keep in mind that Best Buy is an electronics STORE.
[making a cappuccino]
Woman watching me: Is that non-fat? I asked for non-fat. Can you make sure that is non-fat? Non-fat? Non-fat??
Me: Here's your non-fat cappuccino.
Woman: Can I get some whipped cream on here?
I work at a video store.
Lady (walking up to counter with some DVD): Hey, I need to exchange this movie.
Me: Does it not work? (happens every day with DVDs)
Lady: No it works, it's because, well...I'm not racist or anything, but this movie only has black people in it.
We've found some cool stuff in the woods. Now it's time for you to pinkie swear you won't tell mom and dad.
There's a Brainiac. He's not THE Brainiac. However, he's one aspect of Brainiac. Or maybe there's supposed to be a different Brainiac in every universe and they're all cosmically connected, presumably via their brains. Either way, I think this particular Brainiac is the boss Brainiac.
I highly recommend Windows 10 With Mouse + Keyboard Support Edition
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