Zack: Defend this, Steve. Defend it. I dare you.
Steve: Dang, clams are pretty uncool.
Zack: But they are trained hand-to-hand fighters with greater skill than a space marine.
Steve: That's because all of the space marines were out of shape back in the day. Before the Emperor put them on a serious diet. No carbs.
Zack: In the grim darkness of the far future there is only protein. And also lean cheeses.
Steve: They really had to increase their activity level. All of this waddling around and hassling kids just wasn't good enough for a superhuman future warrior.Zack: There's no workout quite like war. Ceaseless, all-consuming, desperate galactic war. Really gets you ready to fight a clam.
TOTAL WRECK - crazy-eyed hound is covered in cobwebs, has a vespiary on back, graffiti on side and savage thirst for boat fuel. Frankly, I'm in over my head. He's in room 115 at Motel 6, yours free. 555-2851
Yes, it's the perfect form for surviving a car crash. But it's also the perfect form for so much more, like surviving the trauma of reading any news headline in 2016.
Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.