Zack: Defend this, Steve. Defend it. I dare you.
Steve: Dang, clams are pretty uncool.
Zack: But they are trained hand-to-hand fighters with greater skill than a space marine.
Steve: That's because all of the space marines were out of shape back in the day. Before the Emperor put them on a serious diet. No carbs.
Zack: In the grim darkness of the far future there is only protein. And also lean cheeses.
Steve: They really had to increase their activity level. All of this waddling around and hassling kids just wasn't good enough for a superhuman future warrior.Zack: There's no workout quite like war. Ceaseless, all-consuming, desperate galactic war. Really gets you ready to fight a clam.
2 PM: Steven J. accidentally drops his vintage Trapper Keeper, revealing erotic drawings of the ‘bunny girls’ emoji. The room draws silent. Slowly, member after member opens his/her notebooks and tablets, revealing dozens of pages of bunny girl emoji fanart. The room votes 12-0 never to speak of this again.
He was ripped off for True Detective, now Thomas Ligotti is being asked to review Pizza Hut's new Hotdog Pizza Bites.
Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.