Zack: Defend this, Steve. Defend it. I dare you.
Steve: Dang, clams are pretty uncool.
Zack: But they are trained hand-to-hand fighters with greater skill than a space marine.
Steve: That's because all of the space marines were out of shape back in the day. Before the Emperor put them on a serious diet. No carbs.
Zack: In the grim darkness of the far future there is only protein. And also lean cheeses.
Steve: They really had to increase their activity level. All of this waddling around and hassling kids just wasn't good enough for a superhuman future warrior.Zack: There's no workout quite like war. Ceaseless, all-consuming, desperate galactic war. Really gets you ready to fight a clam.
Mothers, Danzig warned you in general terms about his nefarious intentions. Now find out what he specifically intends.
Makes baby look too appetizing. Also I have my thigh stuck in one and I can't get it off. It's so tight around the skin I can't cut it without risking injury. IT'S A LONG STORY AND IT'S NONE OF YOUR BEESWAX.
The darkest, most controversial game since Luigi's Mansion.
Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.