The "Really Damn Big" Slot Machine of Confusion
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Tired of putting your money into normal sized slot machines that have obvious winning combinations? Kill the predictability of those boring old slot machines with our patented "Really Damn Big" Slot Machine of Confusion! Yes, this slot machine, which is over eight feet tall and 10 feet wide, is not only "really damn big" (The FAKE Las Vegas Herald) but also features nonsensical winning combinations and pictures that aren't based in any rational logic at all! Ready to win $1,000? Just pull the lever and hope to line up a pineapple, picture of Rosie O' Donnell's ass, and the logo from "Max Headroom"! With odds that change every minute and winning combinations that are dependent upon the current phase of the moon, you'll never quite be sure how to win, making the gambling experience even more exciting!
Current jackpot combos are as follows:
Rutabega : Disembodied Skull : Nuclear Bomb - pays 10
Batman : Plate of Macaroni and Cheese : Atomic Symbol for Boron - pays 20
Some Sort of Glowing Circle : Bucket of Paint : Bloody Arm Stump - pays 50
Symbol of David : Chocolate Danish : Eye of the Beholder - pays 100
A broadcasting legend pleads with the world of the living.
The human anatomy is home to more than three hundred organs. Doctors and chocolatiers agree that the vast majority of these revolting lumps of tissue serve little to no function. If you find yourself standing in a long line or stuck at the airport waiting for a delayed flight, consider taking a few minutes to remove the following from your person.
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