Legal Gambling on Almost Everything!
Click for a larger photoSure, gambling in a casino is a fun thing, but what about when you're outside or walking towards the casino? Sometimes you've gotta scratch that gambling itch and you just can't wait an extra 15 seconds that it takes to walk to the casino. At FAKE Las Vegas, you can gamble almost anywhere you want! Insert a quarter into the elevator and gamble to see if it will actually stop on the floor you chose! If not, you'll more than likely end up in the basement where a hoard of tortured and imprisoned people in Disney suits will descend upon you and tear you limb from limb! We also feature a wide variety of other things you can bet on:
If your wake-up call will be within a one-hour timeframe of when you asked for it.
Whether your steak will be well done, exceptionally well done, or "charcoal-like".
If you will be robbed within the first 10 minutes of entering FAKE Las Vegas or the burglars will wait an extra 20 minutes.
If your children will be born with hideous mutant birth defects thanks to the experimental "bonus chemicals" we dump into the FAKE Las Vegas water supply every evening.
Whether the snake in your bathroom is poisonous or not (current odds are 10:1 in favor of "poisonous")
This Week on Something Awful...
My Eyes Are The Windows 10 To My Soul
"Your left eye," the optometrist casually explained while blasting my face with a blue laser at point blank range, "is farsighted and shaped like an eyeball. The other eye is nearsighted and shaped like a football. Not even a good football."
You Might Be a Redneck Jokes From the Posthuman Body Horror Awakening
Jeff Foxworthy has awakened to the new flesh to tell some redneck jokes.
Sexts From The Void!
The non-Euclidean geometry of our coupling is corroding my sanity.
Better(?) Magazine Ads For Classic Games
Relive the good old days, when fonts were extreme and fisheye lenses were bountiful.
About This Column
Featured articles and columns that don't fit anywhere else on Something Awful.
Previous Articles
- Why I Should Be President of the PTA and Not Betty Grable
- Heroes of the Gaming World Trading Cards
- Leonard's Law
- Bitboys Sue Themselves
- Nintendo Gamecube a Big Hit With 'Stupid Fucking Idiots'
Suggested Articles
- Underworld: Awakening; Haywire; Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close; Red Tails; Coriolanus; Carnage; Redline
- Captain America: The First Avenger; Friends with Benefits
- Advanced Dungeons & Dragons: 1st Edition Fiend Folio (part 2)
- The Amazing Spider-Man; The Savages; To Rome with Love; People Like Us; Katy Perry: Part of Me
- Evil Dead; Emperor; Trance; Welcome to the Punch; Jurassic Park 3D
