Legal Gambling on Almost Everything!

Click for a larger photo

Sure, gambling in a casino is a fun thing, but what about when you're outside or walking towards the casino? Sometimes you've gotta scratch that gambling itch and you just can't wait an extra 15 seconds that it takes to walk to the casino. At FAKE Las Vegas, you can gamble almost anywhere you want! Insert a quarter into the elevator and gamble to see if it will actually stop on the floor you chose! If not, you'll more than likely end up in the basement where a hoard of tortured and imprisoned people in Disney suits will descend upon you and tear you limb from limb! We also feature a wide variety of other things you can bet on:

If your wake-up call will be within a one-hour timeframe of when you asked for it.

Whether your steak will be well done, exceptionally well done, or "charcoal-like".

If you will be robbed within the first 10 minutes of entering FAKE Las Vegas or the burglars will wait an extra 20 minutes.

If your children will be born with hideous mutant birth defects thanks to the experimental "bonus chemicals" we dump into the FAKE Las Vegas water supply every evening.

Whether the snake in your bathroom is poisonous or not (current odds are 10:1 in favor of "poisonous")

More Features / Articles

This Week on Something Awful...

  • Meditations from a Movable Weiner

    Meditations from a Movable Weiner

    Sometimes I dream that I'm sitting in the back of the defunct Weinermobile as it careens driverless down the highway. At first I thought this was symbolic of the powerlessness I feel in life, but then I realized it's actually the Weinermobile's dream of being able to drive again.

  • BarkWire.com Dog Reviews: The Barquis de Sade & Cleaver

    BarkWire.com Dog Reviews: The Barquis de Sade & Cleaver

    Three years ago, when we were burying my uncle, Cleaver and some gross lady dog (Solstice???) showed up at the cemetery and starting going at it really loudly. It ruined everything and we had to have a "re-do" the next day and it cost a fortune. I've hated him ever since for that.

Copyright ©2014 Rich "Lowtax" Kyanka & Something Awful LLC.