Tuesday, Sep 12, 2000 by Rich "Lowtax" Kyanka

Legal Gambling on Almost Everything!

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Sure, gambling in a casino is a fun thing, but what about when you're outside or walking towards the casino? Sometimes you've gotta scratch that gambling itch and you just can't wait an extra 15 seconds that it takes to walk to the casino. At FAKE Las Vegas, you can gamble almost anywhere you want! Insert a quarter into the elevator and gamble to see if it will actually stop on the floor you chose! If not, you'll more than likely end up in the basement where a hoard of tortured and imprisoned people in Disney suits will descend upon you and tear you limb from limb! We also feature a wide variety of other things you can bet on:

If your wake-up call will be within a one-hour timeframe of when you asked for it.

Whether your steak will be well done, exceptionally well done, or "charcoal-like".

If you will be robbed within the first 10 minutes of entering FAKE Las Vegas or the burglars will wait an extra 20 minutes.

If your children will be born with hideous mutant birth defects thanks to the experimental "bonus chemicals" we dump into the FAKE Las Vegas water supply every evening.

Whether the snake in your bathroom is poisonous or not (current odds are 10:1 in favor of "poisonous")

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