Once man evolved from the sea-dwelling creatures they were, they began to immediatly kill every poor animal in their path. Sigh... sometimes people never change, do they?
Having burned and mutilated everything near the oceans, mankind began to move inward, decimating everything in their path. They were known as "pioneers" or "settlers". They traveled in covered wagons made from the flesh of baby horses.
The kind and sensitive Native Americans, who believe all life was a sacred, holy thing, were at peace with the world. They were enlightened, majestic, caring people who loved all forms of life.
Hows about you, me, and five uncomfortable minutes in my basement apartment next to the dusty Christmas tree that's still up from my last visit with my estranged children.
The Upper Kitchen Cabinet Where Your Roommate Keeps His Food: You’ll 'need the footstool' to reach your roommate’s 'fine selection' of 'stale cereal,' but he'll never notice if 'only a little is missing from each box.' Feel less guilty by reminding yourself that Jeff 'acts weird around your girlfriend,' and always 'asks about her.' What a 'creep.'
This ain't your daddy's globe...! .... or is it?!
Featured articles and columns that don't fit anywhere else on Something Awful.