Once man evolved from the sea-dwelling creatures they were, they began to immediatly kill every poor animal in their path. Sigh... sometimes people never change, do they?
Having burned and mutilated everything near the oceans, mankind began to move inward, decimating everything in their path. They were known as "pioneers" or "settlers". They traveled in covered wagons made from the flesh of baby horses.
The kind and sensitive Native Americans, who believe all life was a sacred, holy thing, were at peace with the world. They were enlightened, majestic, caring people who loved all forms of life.
Did Louis C.K. jerk off in front of two female comics? And why are these ladies squandering an opportunity to learn from a comedy legend?
Elliot said my breakup must have been due to the sweater curse, an unexplained phenomenon where anyone who gives their significant other a hand-knit sweater gets dumped. The only way to break the curse, Elliot said, was to destroy the sweater.
Featured articles and columns that don't fit anywhere else on Something Awful.