Once man evolved from the sea-dwelling creatures they were, they began to immediatly kill every poor animal in their path. Sigh... sometimes people never change, do they?
Having burned and mutilated everything near the oceans, mankind began to move inward, decimating everything in their path. They were known as "pioneers" or "settlers". They traveled in covered wagons made from the flesh of baby horses.
The kind and sensitive Native Americans, who believe all life was a sacred, holy thing, were at peace with the world. They were enlightened, majestic, caring people who loved all forms of life.
Sleeping with AC is at this point a basic human right. But if you're one of the doomed souls forced to deal with global warming on a nightly basis, here's an hourly breakdown on how to get the most out of your inferno hellscape of a bedroom.
Some of the Internet's most veteran anatomy experts convened to discuss the stolen nude photos of Jennifer Lawrence and other beautiful celebrities.
We're spelunking through the movie catacombs this week. Join us, won't you?
Featured articles and columns that don't fit anywhere else on Something Awful.