Once man evolved from the sea-dwelling creatures they were, they began to immediatly kill every poor animal in their path. Sigh... sometimes people never change, do they?
Having burned and mutilated everything near the oceans, mankind began to move inward, decimating everything in their path. They were known as "pioneers" or "settlers". They traveled in covered wagons made from the flesh of baby horses.
The kind and sensitive Native Americans, who believe all life was a sacred, holy thing, were at peace with the world. They were enlightened, majestic, caring people who loved all forms of life.
Forget Target or Best Buy, if you want deals this Black Friday you can't do better than smoking massive, mind-melting quantities of DMT.
A reluctant family is forced to welcome a non-human participant to Thanksgiving dinner.
You cant go around life being smart in an unconventional way, it could change the world.
Featured articles and columns that don't fit anywhere else on Something Awful.