After gouging on the poor beasts' internal organs, the evil cavemen would live inside the rotting corpses of the murdered baby dinosaurs.
The foolish cavemen, thinking they would never run out of life sustaining food, ended up all dying due to their reckless misuse of Mother Earth's precious gifts.
Mother Earth received a second chance shortly afterwards, as a meteorite flew towards her, hitting the Earth and causing what is known as the "Cretinous Period".
Ferguson's long arm of the law laments the latest cutback.
Simply put, if I had Johnny Manziel’s physical gifts, you better believe I would be there in the Weight Room, getting to bed early, doing whatever I had to do to be the best possible athlete I could be. I wouldn't be posting on social media about sucking titties. I wouldn't even look at a titty, buddy. I'd look at a titty and see two big footballs.
Featured articles and columns that don't fit anywhere else on Something Awful.