They report, you decide to look for the back button.
Take her down a couple pegs with "You are related to me, The Shit Volcano, who has 1579 posts on a forum about shitting."
People just can't get enough of watching others shit on the floor!
When your uncle starts detailing all the times he's shit himself, that's the signal that he has ran out of things to talk about and it's your turn to talk.
"The_Shitman" must live somewhere without neighbors.
The most I've done is named a couple of mine, but even then I didn't keep a SHIT LOG BOOK.
We're spelunking through the movie catacombs this week. Join us, won't you?
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