M'lady, please tell us of your frightening tales on the astral plane so that I may giggle and forward the link around at work!
Chocolate son of a bitch popping up in dreams thinking he's so hot like no one's ever heard of Ovaltine, fuck that ho.
"Hey mom, can we go someplace else for vacation this year? Oh, no reason."
This one is pretty long and I can't really make much sense of it, so maybe you could print it out and try to make sense of it on the train to work or something.
A thousand years ago, dudes were dying from splinters, but now the wizard potion that cleans our light wounds costs less than a Dr. Pepper in 1994. I love this medicinal 7up.
U2 and Apple have conspired to place a U2 album into your music in the year 2014. You own a U2 album. And you can't get rid of it.
Ron Paul spins in his chair, trying to grab his decorative antique musket but Freddy gets it first.
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