M'lady, please tell us of your frightening tales on the astral plane so that I may giggle and forward the link around at work!
Chocolate son of a bitch popping up in dreams thinking he's so hot like no one's ever heard of Ovaltine, fuck that ho.
"Hey mom, can we go someplace else for vacation this year? Oh, no reason."
This one is pretty long and I can't really make much sense of it, so maybe you could print it out and try to make sense of it on the train to work or something.
The Upper Kitchen Cabinet Where Your Roommate Keeps His Food: You’ll 'need the footstool' to reach your roommate’s 'fine selection' of 'stale cereal,' but he'll never notice if 'only a little is missing from each box.' Feel less guilty by reminding yourself that Jeff 'acts weird around your girlfriend,' and always 'asks about her.' What a 'creep.'
This is the crown jewel of my erotic lamp collection, and a must-have for any serious pleasure lamp collector.
This ain't your daddy's globe...! .... or is it?!
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