M'lady, please tell us of your frightening tales on the astral plane so that I may giggle and forward the link around at work!
Chocolate son of a bitch popping up in dreams thinking he's so hot like no one's ever heard of Ovaltine, fuck that ho.
"Hey mom, can we go someplace else for vacation this year? Oh, no reason."
This one is pretty long and I can't really make much sense of it, so maybe you could print it out and try to make sense of it on the train to work or something.
What if you were a cop and the Skittle was mentally disturbed and wanted to be eaten?
DOPPELGANGER NEEDED - To minimize stress to my dog, I'm looking for somebody who is identical to me to take over ownership. Must also be able to fool my wife. Call to set up interview. 555-8252
I'll never forgive these giant alien insects! I'm trying!
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