"I'm thinking about performing surgery on myself with broken beer bottles and rusty garden tools, and I'm scared..."
And just where the hell is the flag for tuberculosis?
Dumb doctors with their oaths and pills and that headlight strapped to their heads. Does that thing even do anything? What a crock, I know better!
Ass, asset. I get it. THIS SHIT IS BANKRUPT.
Why don't these guys just drive around a graveyard for a while? Or find the place they filmed the video for Thriller and see if any of the zombie dancer guys are still hanging around looking for more work.
Maria Mitchell is shown holding a telescope to each eye, using them to ogle passing hunks on the street below. OOOGA! Her tongue rolls out like a firehose, her eyes comically bulging through the ends of the telescopes.
The Internet experience of 2014 has been condensed into a single article for your convenience.
There are hundreds of stories happening on the World Wide Web. Let me tell you, that's a very wide web. Our goal at Weekend Web is to bring you the latest headlines from around the Internet. We go into the very bowels of message boards everywhere and find out what millions of online citizens have to say.