"I'm thinking about performing surgery on myself with broken beer bottles and rusty garden tools, and I'm scared..."
And just where the hell is the flag for tuberculosis?
Dumb doctors with their oaths and pills and that headlight strapped to their heads. Does that thing even do anything? What a crock, I know better!
Ass, asset. I get it. THIS SHIT IS BANKRUPT.
Why don't these guys just drive around a graveyard for a while? Or find the place they filmed the video for Thriller and see if any of the zombie dancer guys are still hanging around looking for more work.
The first phase of The Olive Garden's cyber rollout will introduce their Neverending Pneumatic Pasta Tube. This works on the same principal as bank drive-thru deposit tubes, but with unfrozen linguini and spaghetti.
Do you remember the crazy clothes and hair of the 1990s? Do you remember Crystal Pepsi and Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles? Do you remember where you hid the box your mother gave you?
It's still okay to like Ben Stiller, guys.
There are hundreds of stories happening on the World Wide Web. Let me tell you, that's a very wide web. Our goal at Weekend Web is to bring you the latest headlines from around the Internet. We go into the very bowels of message boards everywhere and find out what millions of online citizens have to say.