Most of the training for "astral sparring" consists of listening to the theme from Highlander and closing your eyes. Maybe clenching a fist if you want to really get into it.
You can't just make dimensions willy-nilly! What do you think you are, a string theorist?
DO NOT FLY, GODDAMN IT
It's likely more of a "fetal position while jocks punch me and look through my wallet" kind of thing.
Once I had a dream where I fought Eddie Murphy.
MOOOOOOM GET OUT OF HERE I'M ON THE COMPUTER
This Week on Something Awful...
Advanced Level Sexy Catcalls
Hows about you, me, and five uncomfortable minutes in my basement apartment next to the dusty Christmas tree that's still up from my last visit with my estranged children.
Zagat's Guide to Poor Person Eating
The Upper Kitchen Cabinet Where Your Roommate Keeps His Food: You’ll 'need the footstool' to reach your roommate’s 'fine selection' of 'stale cereal,' but he'll never notice if 'only a little is missing from each box.' Feel less guilty by reminding yourself that Jeff 'acts weird around your girlfriend,' and always 'asks about her.' What a 'creep.'
Awful Movie Awards 2015
Take a look back with us at some of the best and worst awful movie moments of the year!
Pet Disasters!
Pictures of cute animals are taking the Internet by storm! (It's a very destructive storm.)
Convincing People to Buy Mediocre Games, PAINTBALL MAX'D
This ain't your daddy's globe...! .... or is it?!
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ITT we describe how we'd get porn as teenagers in pre-internet times- Who, is this? (serious)