New York is pretty dry man. Try Ohio. Erm, at least that's what I've heard.

Last night I played Knights of the Old Republic until 5am and cried in the closet until 6am.

I just can't picture any forty year old man giving head. Ugh.

I think the thousands of webcam whores already cornered that market.

Pretend this is a joke about being there, having fun, etc.

I'll bring over my full collection of Mr. Ed episodes. It'll be a blast!

Way to rage against the machine there buddy.

I have no fucking clue what this idiot is talking about.

More The Weekend Web

This Week on Something Awful...

  • Lair Flair!

    Lair Flair!

    Your lair. Maybe you lure victims to it, maybe you hide in it between killings, or maybe you haunt it 24/7 because you’re tragically confined by a curse. Whatever the situation, for most of us monsters, a living/un-living space is an important part of our identities. In this column, Monstergeddon award winners share their lair tips and techniques!

  • SkyMall Product Review: Bark Deterring Ultrasonic Collar

    SkyMall Product Review: Bark Deterring Ultrasonic Collar

    Works great on my child, who hasn't barked at all for as long as she's worn the apparatus. When she turns three, we will remove it for a trial period.

Copyright ©2014 Rich "Lowtax" Kyanka & Something Awful LLC.