Steve: Now that's about as Deadlandsy as it gets.
Zack: *looks at giant bat swarm and then down at pocket watch* Ehhhhhh better call ahead to Yuma and let them know it's going to be 3:30 at the earliest.
Steve: Red Dead Redemption needed more missions where you had to fight off giant bats from your train.
Zack: No way, what it clearly needed more of was missions where you hang around with that super fun kid. That was so fun.
Steve: I wonder if any kids were neglected by people who were spending too much time hanging around with the kid in Red Dead Redemption.
Zack: "Your honor, my client did not intentionally neglect her babies. Rockstar's game forced her to take on the role of a tough gunfighter who has to spend hours herding cattle like Clint Eastwood always did in all his most exciting movies."
"I thought the internet was all fun and games. Grow virtual plants on Facebook. Send email to grandma. IM friends with emojis," said the Stupid Ass Teenager, currently dying in an Idiot County hospital. "Never in my wildest dreams could I ever possibly humanly imagine that doing stupid ass internet shit in real life might get me mortally injured."
(Lips smacking, mouth full of peanut butter, glistening streams of peanut butter oil running down chin) "I'm full as hell, and I'm not going to take another bite!"
Bonk: The Only Good Bonk Is A Head Bonk
We review every game from the last 2 months, plus all 21 SNES Classic titles
Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.