Trillaphon: Good thing she keeps Chekhov's Spoon on her nightstand.
Hydrogen: Somehow, in the search for a really shocking musical accent to a man having his eye torn out, the sound editor settled on "the sound of failure from a bootleg Portuguese knockoff of The Price is Right when you guess over the retail price."
Trillaphon: I couldn't really hear that over the sound of that one-eyed guy doing his impression of Tarzan on the crapper.
Trillaphon: Also, I'm impressed he has so many wicked, ear-splitting psychedelic goblin belches saved up in that seemingly unremarkable gut of his.
Hydrogen: I'm more impressed that he has the wherewithal to climb down the side of a building with one eye hanging down to his nose, and with the rapid onset of Kool-Aid-Man-o-vision to boot.
Trillaphon: He's going to crawl 19 blocks back to the el station like that just so he can use his discounted day pass. Frugality is a hardcore way of life.
Hydrogen: He was thinking about crawling to a doctor's office to get his eye put back in, but he couldn't find a clinic that gave out coupons in the Weekly Shopper, and if you're going to buy something that's not 98% discounted what's the point of living?
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Dear god this was an embarrassment to not only this site, but to all mankind
Yes, there are finally enough games for a new round of One Sentence Reviews
Something Awful reviews the absolute worst movies out there. We focus mostly on horror and science fiction, because all writers here on Something Awful are huge nerds.