Submitted by yours truly
America may be #20 in education, #37 in health care, #46 in literacy and #4 in income inequality but BAH GAWD we are #1 when it comes to videos of fat sacks of garbage plowing through rib-shaped mystery meat patties and 40 oz bottles of malt liquor! USA! USA! USA!
0:20 - (While arranging his nearly 2000 calories worth of Mickie D's) "I cannot digest raw onions."
2:48 - "Bwuh bwoh. Ah gowt teff meffage."
3:20 - "BAUAUUUUUURRRRRRRP. Nice."
3:57 - "BURRRP. Nice."
5:23 - "Think I got some sauce in my nose. *wipes nose with napkin, then face with same napkin* Mmm. Woo!"
6:12 - "Thank you, uh, LegacyVXT. Yea-BURUURURRNRRNRNRNURUERPPRPPHPPRPPHPHPP. That's what I was looking for."
7:58 - "Oh yes. BWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRP"
You can realize that you’ve wasted the last few moments of youth at an occupation you hate or fool yourself into a numb compliance with one of these great excuses.
You've heard of #BlackLivesMatter and #AllLivesMatter, but the ancient voice of a mountain offers us the hardest truth of all: #NoLivesMatter. And also some opinions about immigrants.
As you may have noticed, the most popular viral videos at any given time are amazingly banal, annoying, and cliched pieces of waste. It almost seems as if the internet naturally gravitates towards the worst possible Youtube and Google video selections. So it stands to reason that if the terrible videos become popular, then the unpopular videos must be awesome! We here at Something Awful present to you AwfulVision™, our own patented service dedicated to showcasing a wide selection of unpopular videos that apparently must be good! Welcome to Web 3.9. Welcome to AwfulVision™!