Submitted by yours truly
America may be #20 in education, #37 in health care, #46 in literacy and #4 in income inequality but BAH GAWD we are #1 when it comes to videos of fat sacks of garbage plowing through rib-shaped mystery meat patties and 40 oz bottles of malt liquor! USA! USA! USA!
0:20 - (While arranging his nearly 2000 calories worth of Mickie D's) "I cannot digest raw onions."
2:48 - "Bwuh bwoh. Ah gowt teff meffage."
3:20 - "BAUAUUUUUURRRRRRRP. Nice."
3:57 - "BURRRP. Nice."
5:23 - "Think I got some sauce in my nose. *wipes nose with napkin, then face with same napkin* Mmm. Woo!"
6:12 - "Thank you, uh, LegacyVXT. Yea-BURUURURRNRRNRNRNURUERPPRPPHPPRPPHPHPP. That's what I was looking for."
7:58 - "Oh yes. BWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRP"
Three years ago, when we were burying my uncle, Cleaver and some gross lady dog (Solstice???) showed up at the cemetery and starting going at it really loudly. It ruined everything and we had to have a "re-do" the next day and it cost a fortune. I've hated him ever since for that.
Today's viral teen news beat, brought to you by Mike from the Internet!
Ignore the hype. Find out how these games will likely go right or wrong.
Doing some reps on the water bottle huh. I prefer bench press myself. Just kidding - stay hydrated.
As you may have noticed, the most popular viral videos at any given time are amazingly banal, annoying, and cliched pieces of waste. It almost seems as if the internet naturally gravitates towards the worst possible Youtube and Google video selections. So it stands to reason that if the terrible videos become popular, then the unpopular videos must be awesome! We here at Something Awful present to you AwfulVision™, our own patented service dedicated to showcasing a wide selection of unpopular videos that apparently must be good! Welcome to Web 3.9. Welcome to AwfulVision™!