Steve: So you can be super beautiful angels or perfect humans or you can be weird hybrid animals.
Zack: Like a scorpion centaur.
Steve: Can't fit into a car, but who needs a car when you can scurry super fast?
Zack: It would be exhausting trying to keep up with everybody else riding in a car.
Steve: You could ride on top of the car.Zack: Oh, sure, and then you make scorpion diarrhea everywhere and the beautiful angels driving the car have to pull over and hose you off.
Steve: But you love it.
Zack: You're a bird.
Steve: A giant bird. And you can turn into a person.
Zack: Right, but turning into the giant bird would be such a great way to show you're pissed off. It's the ultimate door slam.
Zack: "Brian, you spend too much money on your seed bells!"
Zack: "We are NOT having this fight again, Nancy!"
Zack: "Well we have to because I can't pay the monthly bill on that giant mirror you had me rent because you keep buying more seed bells we don't need!"
Zack: *glares, turns into a giant robin.*
Steve: I am literally a parrot head.
Zack: Wasting away in the war-torn horror of Margaritaville.
Steve: A party of nothing but people with bird heads could be amazing.
Zack: Be wary. That way lies Fur Affinity.
Steve: "I have seen things that you wouldn't believe."
Steve: "Let me show you in movie form on that wall over there."
Zack: "Sorry, no audio, but I can play the ragtime piano while you watch."
Steve: Metal head and camera eyes frankly seem a little lame when you can turn your memories into a movie.
Zack: Yeah, but it's a lame movie. One camera, POV shoot unless you pay extra for camera and helicopter shots.
Your lair. Maybe you lure victims to it, maybe you hide in it between killings, or maybe you haunt it 24/7 because you’re tragically confined by a curse. Whatever the situation, for most of us monsters, a living/un-living space is an important part of our identities. In this column, Monstergeddon award winners share their lair tips and techniques!
Works great on my child, who hasn't barked at all for as long as she's worn the apparatus. When she turns three, we will remove it for a trial period.
The famed gonzo otaku journalist writes about the death of gaming culture in 2014.
Try not to break your console while I try not to break my cyber brain.
Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.