Zack: God damn it, Tina! Do you have any idea how hard it is to get replacement headlights for an '87 Escort in primitive reality?
Steve: That looks more like a Delorean.
Steve: Marty, you have to go to the skeleton ape dance and teach them to play electric guitar or you'll never be born.
Zack: "Whatever you do, Marty, don't bang the triceratops. That is your ancient ancestor and you need to set her up with the lemure."
Steve: Primitive reality does look pretty crappy. You've got a lot on your plate to worry about.
Zack: Not to mention what appears to be going on in the background. Dinosaurs did 9/11.
Steve: Holy crap, you're right. That looks like the World Trade Center.
Zack: A second pterodactyl has just crashed into the building.
Are you concerned that you may be a character trapped in a Tom Waits song? Be smart and learn the warning signs before it's too late. Also, it's too late. It has always been too late.
I'm haunted by a recurring vision of a skeleton flipping me off. To avoid seeing this terrifying image in bumper sticker form, I pay someone with a blank bumper to drive in front of me at all times.
Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.