Ask questions. Don't let others do your thinking for you! Don't leave it to the 'experts'!

Yeah, big deal Tiki, you lectured some freaky eight-year old kid for about ten panels and then you took a nap. You must be BEAT. But hey kids, don't leave it up to the "experts"! Proclaim yourself a master of genetic engineering and start making wacked out children's comics on the Internet! Call yourself an "Eco Warrior" and reveal the giant conspiracies behind the meglomaniacal seed corporations of America!


If you have a garden or yard, try growing your own vegetables. It's fun. You could keep a couple of hens for eggs (being a bird myself, I don't like to think about eating eggs but I don't suppose the hen will mind if you're kind to her).

HEY KIDS! Nothing's more fun than PLANTING CORN and FEEDING HENS! Have a blast! Put down your boring Playstation and experience the sheer thrill of WATERING ZUCCHINI! WOW!

I've written this guide just because I love all life on Earth and I want you and your friends to wake up and help persuade your human companies and industries do things which are useful, sensible and not damaging to the rest of life. One thing I'm sure of: it won't be easy, but... You can do it!

Shut up. This webpage has enough horrors to fuel my nightmares for years. Thanks alot you eco-nutball, your webpage has creeped me out for all the wrong reasons.

– Rich "Lowtax" Kyanka

More Features / Articles

This Week on Something Awful...

Copyright ©2014 Rich "Lowtax" Kyanka & Something Awful LLC.