The last few remaining monuments of mankind will begin to disappear. The sands of Egypt will swallow the pyramids, the Statue of Liberty will collapse into the sea, and something totally awesome will be depicted like the face falling off Mt. Rushmore's George Washington. Dog tourists will be horribly killed by this disaster.
The polar ice will begin to melt at unprecedented levels. Most scientists believe that the earth is growing warmer due to dog-made global warming. Rising water levels and increasing temperatures will threaten coming generations of dogs. However, a small group of pro-business dogs disagree with this theory, believing that the earth is currently getting hotter as part of a natural cycle and will soon begin to regulate itself during a century-spanning panting age.
Are you concerned that you may be a character trapped in a Tom Waits song? Be smart and learn the warning signs before it's too late. Also, it's too late. It has always been too late.
I'm haunted by a recurring vision of a skeleton flipping me off. To avoid seeing this terrifying image in bumper sticker form, I pay someone with a blank bumper to drive in front of me at all times.
The Something Awful front page news tackles anything both off and on the Internet. Mostly "on" though, as we're all incredible nerds.