The last few remaining monuments of mankind will begin to disappear. The sands of Egypt will swallow the pyramids, the Statue of Liberty will collapse into the sea, and something totally awesome will be depicted like the face falling off Mt. Rushmore's George Washington. Dog tourists will be horribly killed by this disaster.
The polar ice will begin to melt at unprecedented levels. Most scientists believe that the earth is growing warmer due to dog-made global warming. Rising water levels and increasing temperatures will threaten coming generations of dogs. However, a small group of pro-business dogs disagree with this theory, believing that the earth is currently getting hotter as part of a natural cycle and will soon begin to regulate itself during a century-spanning panting age.
TOTAL WRECK - crazy-eyed hound is covered in cobwebs, has a vespiary on back, graffiti on side and savage thirst for boat fuel. Frankly, I'm in over my head. He's in room 115 at Motel 6, yours free. 555-2851
Yes, it's the perfect form for surviving a car crash. But it's also the perfect form for so much more, like surviving the trauma of reading any news headline in 2016.
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