The last few remaining monuments of mankind will begin to disappear. The sands of Egypt will swallow the pyramids, the Statue of Liberty will collapse into the sea, and something totally awesome will be depicted like the face falling off Mt. Rushmore's George Washington. Dog tourists will be horribly killed by this disaster.

The polar ice will begin to melt at unprecedented levels. Most scientists believe that the earth is growing warmer due to dog-made global warming. Rising water levels and increasing temperatures will threaten coming generations of dogs. However, a small group of pro-business dogs disagree with this theory, believing that the earth is currently getting hotter as part of a natural cycle and will soon begin to regulate itself during a century-spanning panting age.

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  • Meditations from a Movable Weiner

    Meditations from a Movable Weiner

    Sometimes I dream that I'm sitting in the back of the defunct Weinermobile as it careens driverless down the highway. At first I thought this was symbolic of the powerlessness I feel in life, but then I realized it's actually the Weinermobile's dream of being able to drive again.

  • Dog Reviews: The Barquis de Sade & Cleaver Dog Reviews: The Barquis de Sade & Cleaver

    Three years ago, when we were burying my uncle, Cleaver and some gross lady dog (Solstice???) showed up at the cemetery and starting going at it really loudly. It ruined everything and we had to have a "re-do" the next day and it cost a fortune. I've hated him ever since for that.

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