"Argabarga Jones" is taking us on a pain safari.

"Nevermore" brings us nature untamed and wild as the girls of spring break.

I would accuse "SirRobin" of monkey business, but dozens of concerned citizens would write to inform me that those aren't monkeys. Instead I'll just say that he's gone ape!

"Mike Toole" blows the lid off an age old event that doesn't quite qualify as a mystery.

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  • Meditations from a Movable Weiner

    Meditations from a Movable Weiner

    Sometimes I dream that I'm sitting in the back of the defunct Weinermobile as it careens driverless down the highway. At first I thought this was symbolic of the powerlessness I feel in life, but then I realized it's actually the Weinermobile's dream of being able to drive again.

  • BarkWire.com Dog Reviews: The Barquis de Sade & Cleaver

    BarkWire.com Dog Reviews: The Barquis de Sade & Cleaver

    Three years ago, when we were burying my uncle, Cleaver and some gross lady dog (Solstice???) showed up at the cemetery and starting going at it really loudly. It ruined everything and we had to have a "re-do" the next day and it cost a fortune. I've hated him ever since for that.

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